Today's post is dedicated to all of you out there that have a significant other in your life that might have a teensy-weensy habit that annoys the livin' crud out of you. Are you reading this, hubby? I am making a general statement here. Of course, you do nothing that annoys me....well, there is that one thing but we will talk later.
The other morning I happened to catch an interesting, weird, freakin' bizarre story that I thought I would pass along just on the outside chance you missed it. A British mechanic, Bob Gibbons, has a collection of dolls. Not just any dolls, but the life size, anatomically correct "love" dolls. Bob has 240 of his doll friends living in his Manley, Hereforshire home that he shares with his wife Lizzie. (while reading this, when you read the word love, read it as LLLOOOOVVVEE. It is way funnier that way. Try it...I was right wasn't I?)
As annoying habits go, ole Bob might take the prize here. Gibbons, the father of two, said he started his collection 10 years ago when he saw a mannequin that "caught his eye".(Bob, why are you making eye contact with a mannequin?)
Bob said he liked the way she looked but wanted something more realistic. He found his first "love" doll, Beverly, on the Internet for $4000.00 US and bought it. Other dolls soon followed. The prices have ranged from as low as $48.00 to one that cost $11,202.00. (That particular doll, Jessica, must really be something special)
Now, I know you are wondering, my blogee friends, what is Bob doing with the girls? What? You weren't wondering? Well...I was and it turns out I was wrong. According to Bob, he has never been interested in his dolls "in that way". (call me doubtful)
Some of his normal (not normal really, more like routine) activities are having afternoon tea with them, taking them for drives in the country, and having his picture taken with them. He also, takes a great deal of time with the help of his wife, bathing and dressing the dolls. They require a lot of care. According to Bob, he and Lizzie are quite "fussy" about how the dolls look. (article also said he talcs them after their bath...say what???)
Really??? Just hanging with the dolls?
While I thought maybe Bob and Lizzie were a bit nuts, eccentric, it seems that they aren't alone in this type of collection. David Hockey, a Nova Scotia film maker started a similar collection of "adult" dolls and did a documentary called, All Dolled Up. David traveled all over the US, Canada, and England interviewing collectors of "adult" dolls. Hockey is quite impressed with Bob and Lizzy's collection. In fact, he believes it to have significant historical (his word, not mine) importance and thinks it would make a great traveling display.
(does this prove the theory that freaks travel in herds?)
This gives a whole new dimension to the debate whether about if it is good for boys to play with dolls,
doesn't it?
This did remind me of the cute clip that Marlo Thomas did about a small boy wanting a doll.
The album Free to Be You and Me, was a classic when my kids were small and I loved the messages for teaching kids values, respect etc. Lately, there have been a couple of brouhahas about gender roles in children. The uproar about the J Crew ad showing a mom painting her little boys toenails for example. In my estimation, a lot of over reacting but none the less....Here is a video of the William Wants a Doll from The Free to Be You and Me album. Still a wonderful message.
The Good for the Day...Our world is such an interesting place with interesting inhabitants.
The Bad for the Day...Some people are less interesting than they are weird.
The Weird for the Day...That someone would spend nearly $12,000 on a doll.
The church my daughter got married in Oct. 4, 2003
The church Kate and William got married in April 29, 2011
My wedding
My Daughter's wedding
William and Kate's wedding
We used our own car at our wedding 1970 Chevrolet Caprice (ugly now, didn't seem like it was in 1970)
The limo at my daughter's wedding
Kate and William get a carriage for their wedding
William and Kates Wedding cost an estimated costs are being reported as somewhere between $20 Million and $70 Million. BUT what a lovely beautiful wedding with an estimated 2 billion people watching.
Neither my wedding or my daughter's wedding had an estimated cost between $20 Million and $70 Million. BUT both were beautiful days with a lot of dear friends and family watching.
Did you happen to catch some of the articles about Zsa Zsa Gabor wanting to have another baby? Well, really I guess it is Gabor's husband doing all the interviews, so technically it is her husband saying Zsa Zsa wants a baby. Frederic Prince von Anhault, Gabor's husband, says that they are working with a clinic to procure an in vitro fertilization procedure that would bring a new little bundle of joy into their life. He is hopeful for a son.
Her first and only child Constance Francesca Hilton was born March 10, 1947. (that is really putting an adequate distance between siblings, don't you think?)
Frederic went on CNN to talk of the parenting "plan". They are going to use donor eggs and a surrogate mother. He did mention that Gabor's eggs are not viable at her age. (Could we not have guessed that?)
Von Anhalt, also did an interview with TMZ and said that his wife always wanted another child and will be thrilled if all goes according to plan. Anhalt stated he can hardly wait to see his wife with the new baby. How exciting!!! Being a new mom at 95.
Well, the reason for my post today is to just shed a little light on the issue of age of mothers in respect to new babies.
Now, I know this isn't a MOMMY BLOG but I am a mom so....yes..I have an opinion. I understand it is very trendy and all to have new babies much later in life. Last year Omkari Panwar delivered twins, a boy and girl at 70 years of age. Omkari is currently holding the title for the oldest woman to deliver children. As far as in vitro fertilization procedures, I don't know who the present title holder is. I would have to think if Zsa Zsa's man pulls this off, they might claim that title.
What would you consider "too old" to have a baby. I am thinking over 50, maybe. I guess you would have to take it case by case as women age differently. I know a few women personally that had children well into their 40's and they are doing fine. Really, better than fine. AWESOME I am prepared to go far as to say that sometimes 40 is the new 30. So really, I am not thinking that having a baby in one's 40's is that unusual.
I guess, I am somewhat conflicted on what is the cut-off age for having a new baby. With the medical advances that allow 50 year old and upward moms to conceive I have to wonder how they manage the energy required to keep up.
When I asked my Facebook friends for their opinion one said "the cutoff age should be 90" (Therese) *giggle,giggle* and another said Hmmm...perhaps you are too old to have a baby when your boobs hang so low that you are able to breast-feed the baby as soon as the head is delivered (Kathy) *chuckle, chuckle*
Back to the subject... when is older, too old...Is it really wrong to admit that in my 50's I need a nap after babysitting my grandkids? They are well behaved, sweet, easy, children...nothing out of the ordinary (well actually I consider them extaordinary)... but still, I am tired. Turns out kids are busy and they require attention. It's been long enough that I forgot the real ramifications of that.
NOTE: For those of you judgmental types that are out there thinking that I am just "out of shape". I don't think that is it. I work out with a trainer regularly, spend a lot of time at the gym and yet keeping up with a toddler and a newborn is tiring.
Frankly, I don't know how you older moms do it. I was in my early 20's when I had my children and that wasn't exactly a walk in the park. Comparatively speaking,though it was easier then it would be now.
A. We didn't have to lug around the back-facing car seat thing that weighs a ton and is cumbersome. (this is especially true if you are trying to hold the hand of a toddler at the same time)
B. Children were less involved in curricular activities so we didn't have to be on the "go" all the time.
C. More mommies got to stay home so the pace was a bit slower and we could sneak in a nap when the kiddos napped.
D. We weren't wearing 4 inch heels and being compared "what celebrities" look like 4 weeks post delivery. Both of those things would have cause me to lose my mind.
E. We had cute little programs to watch on TV and nobody told us that it was bad to let your kids watch it a lot. In fact, the media told us that Sesame Street was a great educational tool. I was doing my kids a great service really.
I see that there are a lot more choices in the arena of childrens programming but some of it I don't "get". .
The Good for the Day...Grandkids really are adorable.
The Bad for the Day...Num Num crackers..Grandkiddo seems to love them but I think maybe they are a by product of spackling compound.
The Weird for the Day...The Southern California Reproductive Center that is working with Zsa Zsa and her husband to make a baby. Well, for around a $100,000.00 .... Babies don't come cheap.
Two Thoughts Rants for Tuesday (well, technically, it is two thoughts)
Despite the fact, the profession I am in takes the #1 or #2 spot on nearly any of the "who do you hate" lists, let's talk a bit today about real estate agents. During the course of reading today's post, feel free to shout uncontrollable profanities and throw things about the room. I can take it. (you might be surprised at how much you and I would agree on as far as this subjects goes)
First let me clear up a few things in the nature of terminology. There are real estate agents, there are brokers and there are Realtors.
A real estate agent is a person that holds a license in whatever state or country that allows them to participate in the buying, selling and leasing of real estate.
Real estate agents that have additional licenses that allow them to manage agents are called Brokers. Real estate agents usually are independent contractors that work for brokerages (run by brokers). There is a lot of confusion as well as misuse of the titles. Who are agents? Who are brokers? By the way, the difference in license has no bearing on the quality of the agent. Lot's of really bad agents have a broker's license.
OK, last point to make, a Realtor is a person that is in the National Association of Realtors. Here is the blurb off the NAR web site.
A real estate agent is a REALTOR® when he or she becomes a member of the NATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF REALTORS®, The Voice for Real Estate®, the world's largest professional association. The term "REALTOR®" is a registered collective membership mark that identifies a real estate professional who is a member of the NATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF REALTORS® and abides by its strict Code of Ethics.
So...why am I even explaining the difference? Because I am about to give you two reasons, why I am not loving the current state of real estate and I want you to understand how this works so you can fully appreaciated why the system currently sucks.
REASON NUMBER ONE -Thanks to the Internet and assorted TV reality shows most people are better informed buyers/sellers than they once were. I appreciate that to a degree. HOWEVER, a little information doesn't make everyone an expert in the field. I will tell you a goodly number of buyers/sellers now believe themselves to be "all knowing". If I never heard the phrase "I know all about [fill in the blank] because I watch HGTV," it would be none to soon.
I got into real estate in the mid 1980's before the system broke down into the cesspool that it is today. Back then, it was substantially less complicated.
Knowing what a huge financial risk home buying can be, I took it seriously (still do for that matter) to help navigate people into homes that were good investments, would appreciate in value, and add to the client's net worth in time. Additionally some of the other aspects of my job were making sure that the homes were structurally sound, procuring money for my clients to be able to pay for the house with the best possible terms, and the least amount of unnecessary fees and keep all parties on track to get the whole deal done on time.
In order to do all of that, I got licenses in 2 states,(Kansas City is in both MO. and KS) which required me going to school then passing 2 different states tests. After that I am required to take 12 credit hours for each state over every two year period. Of course that is the minimum requirement so any given year I have taken (let's say 20 credit hours of continuing education) 25 years by 20 credit hours per year = 500 credit hours. I am being very conservative here folks, as of my last renewal, I turned in 59 credits for those two years.
The only reason I mention that is so you don't assume that I am a complete moron that doesn't know what the heck I am doing. Frankly if I would have spent my time taking a different route with all that education, I could be doing a heart transplant on you. Instead, I am being #1 on the hate list while acting as a pimp for a brokerage company.
OK, on with the story. I am an ABR (Accredited Buyers Representative) a CREN (Certified Real Estate Negotiator) and a Realtor, which means I am an expert (in theory) at helping people get the home of their dreams. I work hard to know which house is the the best buy, best built and I will help you get it with the most logical secure financing, I can hunt down. (I am a zealot as far as getting you money) It also, means that my clients aren't paying the real estate commission. (to be fair, I have had listings from time to time so...ok..sometimes my clients did pay the commission but for today's story, I am talking about buyers)
Here is an example to add some credibility to my story. A couple I was working with last year after looking at a number of houses (quite a large number, actually), decided they loved a house on one of the busiest streets in all of Kansas City. They picked this house off the Internet (where all good house hunters do their shopping) and I took them to see it. I mentioned that the road that runs right past the front door has more than 10,000 cars per day wizzing by it. The people, let's just call them Mr. and Mrs. Stuart Pidd, were moving in from out of state but had relatives here. According to them, the relatives didn't think that the street looked all that busy (good enough) so the Pidds write a contract. They offered full price (against my advice, but really who the heck am I?) and the Pidds got themselves a house.
The Pidd's relatives also had a friend that was in the lending biz so they line up a mortgage for 5.6 percent with $9700.00 in closing costs. Are you kidding me???? I call Stu Pidd and tell him I can get him 5.2 with $1800.00 closing costs. No thank you, he says. These are good friends of my sister. I wouldn't want to make waves.
OK, can't say I didn't try. Next hiccup... The inspection shows the roof is bad. Turns out there are 3 layers of shingles with the bottom layer being rotten wood shakes with 2 additional layers of composition. I could write for the next 2 days solid about what you should want in a roof but let me condense. You don't want this one. Now I am all about still trying to find them a better house, in a better location but no they are insisting that this one is fine. (that is they are fine with the crappy mortgage and they are fine with a crappy roof) I suggest they ask the seller to pony up some money in lieu of the roof or make an adjustment on the full price offer. No thank you, they say. (truly the house was over priced and in really bad shape, why wouldn't they want to negotiate a bit?)
REASON NUMBER TWO
Point number two has to do with the perceived notion of me getting wealthy helping people like Stu Pidd.
$180,000 price of the house with a $10, 800. 00 commission to be divided as follows: $5400.00 to the sellers Broker and $5400 to the Buyers Broker. My broker (in this case the buyer's broker) will be giving me $3240.
(disclaimer: real estate commissions are negotiable and vary from transaction to transaction. Brokers splits also vary from company to company and every agent can be paid differently. I am creating a ficticous albeit, possible scenario.)
So lets do the math
3240.00
170 Charge for my advertising by Broker (some costs come out per transaction)
100 cost of my KS license renewal annually
100 Missouri license fee because the house is on the MO side
355 Membership into the local Multiple listing system. I have to have to do real estate here.
150 Charge by by Broker for office use
80 A couple of meals for Stu Pidds family
250 This fee is on all transactions here and I don't know what it is for. No one does.
150 My errors and omissions insurance
972.00 My tax liability for this windfall. I have to pay Missouri, Kansas and Federal
400.00 Part of my health insurance. I have to sell another house or 2 to cover the rest
130.00 Gas in my car from running the Stu Pidds to see what they should have bought, this one that they did buy, and assorted trips for inspectors, title company, lenders office etc. 50.00 Leasing costs for my Ekey and key box so I can get in and out of houses
333.00 so far this money has my name on it
OH WAIT... the back door lock does seem to be working the day before closing. We won't close say the Pidds. The crappy roof they can live with, but a bad lock... Hell no.
333.00 minus 100.00 for locksmith.
OK now $233.00 has my name on it. Ya hoo. I am rich and still I am #1 or #2 on the most hated list.
Isn't it great to be a winner!!!
I am getting out of the biz for sure but what do I do with 1573 credit hours of education in real estate?
Before, ending this little rant of mine, let me say that there are some really bad agents just as there are really bad employees in all fields. Clearly, they have earned your disdain. I, also, will tell you that I realize the fees are substantial on the selling side so I don't have a problem for some of the more capable of you to use alternative methods to sell your home. I do, however, believe that a GOOD agent in most cases will sell your home quicker and usually get you a better sales price. But do your homework. There are a lot of e-sellers and lower priced options that are reputable and some homes all but sell themselves. Be wary, though, there are a lot of scams out there too.
Keeping with the theme of houses....Little Pink Houses
The Good....I have met some really nice people that have bought some really nice homes.
The Bad...You don't even want to know the bad. You are probably hating me already and I only complained about 2 things. Should I start about the forclosures and short sales???
The Weird..... All the web forums where people are debating their right to strip a house that is in forclosure. I find all of this just WRONG. I understand that people have been dealt an unfair hand. BUT taking everything out of a house that has been forclosed upon to try to recoup some of their loses still is wrong. Stealing is stealing. Really, how much are the sinks and bath tubs really going to bring?
This is the big week. The final preparations are being made and every last detail is being checked and rechecked for the big day. The Royal Wedding is less than four days away. The world is engaged in all the activity that is leading up to Prince William and Kate Middleton's wedding.
While I am not glued to my television, I certainly can understand everyone latching onto a seemingly wonderful story. Cute couple that happen to be part of history. How many young couples can go around saying "We are going to be the King and Queen of England someday." Really a modern day version of a fairy tale OR so everyone keeps saying...
My thought is that everyone needs to quit saying that. If the press had gotten a hold of the stories we grew up with and did what the media tends to do....that is pick every lurid detail and run with it...what would the fairy tales of our past sound like?
I can tell you what they would sound like. They would sound SCANDALOUS.
For example the story of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs would have made the news like this:
BREAKING NEWS.... It has just been released that a background check shows that the woman that is engaged to Prince Charming has been most recently been living in a house with seven men for a period of time under questionable circumstances. The men, using various aliases i.e. Happy, Sleepy, Grumpy, Sneezy, Doc, Dopey, and Bashful have been uncooperative in responding to our questions. When asked nature of the living arrangements, Grumpy replied "No comment and it's none of your d*** business." Another source (a little birdie) confirmed that the Prince initially found Ms. White in a drug induced coma.
A reporter for the weekly magazine The Instigator, reported earlier in the week that a hidden camera placed in the one and only bedroom of the small cottage, showed Ms. White in a bed with all seven of the male inhabitants.
_______________________________________
Or, what if one of today's entertainment rags got a hold of this story.
Princess C. Ella has Admitted to Delusional Episodes Involving Pumpkins and Mice I.C. Dert, reporter
It has been reported that the Princess has a history of psychotic breaks leading to delusional episodes. According to her stepmother, it is reported that Cinderella believes she has a fairy godmother that comes to her and "magically" grants wishes. Her stepmother went on to say that during the immediate period of time prior to the Princess' marriage that she was showing signs of mental illness. There have been periods where she seemingly is totally unaware of reality but talks to rodents around her home and even going so far as to dress them in little outfits.
"I tried desperately to have her seek professional help upon finding her dancing with mice singing in a gibberish language that made no sense. She goes around saying things like Bibbity, bobbity, boo. Really, she has periods that she is not being coherent at all". stated her younger stepsister. "We are all quite worried about her mental well being".
Even, some of the staff working at the Castle relate that she has spoken of a crystal coach that she claims was once a large pumpkin that was transformed my her "fairy godmother". Stay tuned for more as we snake out the continuing details of the Princess' strange behavior.
_________________________________________
So let's not compare the upcoming wedding to fairy tales but to the fact that two young people are in love and happen to be in the unusual position to be real "royalty". Don't we all wish them the best? Let's all hope they see their own "happily ever after".
What are your thoughts? Is the media "over doing" the coverage? OR are you wanting to see every last detail? Are you going to watch the ceremony? Any additional thoughts on all the wedding related events? Give me your comments.
Even if this would have been part of a psychotic episode for Cinderella, it would have still been cute.
The Good for the Day....Busy week in London with a lot of people having fun
The Bad for the Day....Busy week in London with a lot of people under a lot of stress to pull off the perfect wedding.
The Weird for the Day.... I guess weird is in the mind of the beholder but this is certainly a wedding with a less traditional theme.
The superhero-themed wedding of Megan Harrod and Thomas Suszynski embodying the theme and aesthetics loved by them both, the never-say-die idiom of superheroes influenced everything about their wedding, which was captured in a series of portraits and published on the bride's Etsy blog.
Here it is another Friday and I am so worried that you might have missed all the bizarre, inconsequential, stupid, main-stream news this week because of the Network News Loop. Here is my theory, the networks pretape the stories that they believe to be the most interesting, put them on a computer that just keeps looping them over and over and over....
Pre-recorded news for the week of April 17-24
I know these three stories are of great importance especially the upcoming nuptials but to be fair to some of the other events that are happening, I thought I might bring you up to speed.
Just to keep you IN THE KNOW here are a few things you might have missed.
1. Homeland Security has done away with the multi-level, multi-colored warning system. In the case of emergency, you might actually want a working knowledge of this one. Well...really...I can't give you a working knowledge of this as I am not sure how it is going to work BUT this is what I know.
The old system is no more. The old one that you see on the right, is history. Just forget you ever saw it. I realize that this old one might have had a certain amount of confusion surrounding it, as the government changed the levels 16 times in the ten+ years since it's inception. However, it was kind of pretty as systems go; as least as far as systems that are designed to stamp our city or town with an expiration date.
But, alas, progress. We now have a new system. ARE YOU READY?
IMMINENT ELEVATED
There you have it. The complete new system to let us know our level of
immediate danger. I am so relieved that this sure-fire system was designed (probably took thousands of hours of planning) just so we could all sleep peacefully at night.
I do have just a couple of itty-bitty little questions though.
Now according to the plan when we get one of these alerts they are supposed to let us know exactly what the danger is. The press release tells us that it will be area specific and they will use Facebook and Twitter in the execution of getting the warnings out to us. So here are a few of my questions.
A. Do I need to become a follower on my Twitter account to Homeland Security? AND because I am me, will I stay focused enough to read Homeland Security's tweet before I read Sarah Silverman's or Funny One Liners?
B. Can they stick to the 140 characters or less on any emergency that impacts my living longer than my current age? (which remains a mystery) Also, note that I have run a couple of tests on my Twitter account to the right, to make sure my Emergency Tweet Broadcast System is working effectively.
C. Do I need to press the "Confirm as a Friend" button on my Facebook page to make Homeland Security my friend?
D. If I am in elevated danger does that mean I stand a fighting chance of protecting myself versus what the word imminent implies, MY ASS IS TOAST?
E. If the old system got changed 16 times what is the realistic change count for this one?
F. What if the people "from no place in particular" don't know what the words elevated or imminent mean? Are they automatically doomed? Maybe you could put in parentheses behind elevated (things aren't looking good) and behind imminent (oh, sh**, hope you have all your affairs in order!).
I am hopeful that Homeland Security will get back to me on this quickly but I have my doubts. The first release of the new system was on January 27th but the public was notified last night. (April 20) Of course, this could be that I didn't notice a tweet.
2. Another news release for this week....The Dept. of Transportation is enacting new rules for the airlines to help protect consumer rights.
Here are a few of the key points.
All fees that are associated with the price of your ticket have to be prominently disclosed. So, all taxes and government fees will show up on the price of your ticket. No guessing about the extra costs. This is nice.
The only down side I see, is that now that ticket that used to show as $250.00 then later became $295.00 when you actually paid for it, starts out as $295.00. No more surprises. You get the kick to your private parts over with quickly so you can move on with the rest of your day.
Also, airlines have to prominently display all the add-on costs that are not directly associated with mandated taxes and fees. Those little incidentals like baggage fees, meals, a place to put your legs, a blanket, a pillow, earphones for those that choose not to try to lip read the movie, (providing you are on a flight that has a movie..really you are expecting a lot for your $1122.00 round trip fare, aren't you?)
Now here is one you might like. If they lose your luggage, you get the fee that you paid to bring a suitcase with you, returned. (Really, what were you thinking that made you want to check a bag in the first place? With that kind of backward thinking, I am not sure you deserve a refund.)
Also, if you get involuntarily bumped from your flight you will be recouping $650 -$1330 depending on how long you are delayed. I did notice that the article I was reading to acquire all this information said that in the past you could get $400-$800 for being bumped. What? Who did? I have gotten bumped before and never got a dime. I think there must be a system that I am not aware of. I suppose I needed to check out their web site at www.ifyournotageekyoudontdeserveourrespect(dot)com.
For a more thorough understanding of all the new bonuses you get to pay for when you fly, here is a nice little article that talks about the fun financials of flying. New Rules for Flyers
Couple little quickies that are flying under the radar as far as news goes.
3. Rod Blagojevich's trial started Wednesday. For any of you that watched Rod on Celebrity Apprentice, you already know the real entertainment value associated with this trial. It has nothing to to with Illinois politics, which is notoriously good for some laughs but more the fact that as reality stars go, that Rod is totally fun to watch. (Just think of Moe in the Three Stooges)
4. The Phallological Museum in Husavik, Iceland got it's first human penis for display. The "Penis" museum is excited at it's latest acquisition. They received the donated pickled penis (say that 3 times really fast) after waiting for 15 years for a donor to actually deliver on his promise. The museum curator Sigurdur Hjartarson, said this rounds out the extensive collection of phalluses from numerous other mammals including whales, seals and bears (oh my)
So blogees, there is a little news to tide you over till the news loop changes. Have a Happy Easter for those that celebrate the holiday.
No tie in on the video today. Just for fun.
The Good for the day....Here comes Peter Cotton Tail, hopping down the Bunny Trail, Hippity, Hoppity, Easter's on its way....
The Bad for the Day...The penis that was donated (albeit pickled) was that of a 95 year old man. I am thinking that is bad. Probably not in the best shape of it's life.
The Weird for the Day.....A passenger on a bus in Argentina was arrested after authorities were tipped off to the fact that he was smuggling 444 snakes, 186 turtles, 40 lizards and one armadillo in assorted pieces of luggage. Creepy...snakes on a bus. Sound like a movie sequel to Snakes on a Plane. But why just one armadillo?
Recently, I met with an Intellectual Property Attorney concerning the matter of someone "stealing" my stuff. Now, I know some of you out there are going "Really? Who in the hell would want any of her crap?" All I can say in my defense, is some people have absolutely no taste and would steal anything if they could make a dime off of it. As far as my "stuff" for the most part I just want the user to say where they got it from. Even STDs get blamed on someone.
I have noticed recently, however, some of the late night talk shows are using material that I have read on various blogs. I, also, notice that the blogs were printed far ahead of the comics using the "word for word" content. I am thinking some of you clever bloggers out there are unpaid writers for the biggies of TV.
But it does bring up the whole issue of Trademarks and Copyrights. I am not on board the cheating bus but I do want to own the "it's all mine" bus.
THEREFORE: I am thinking I need to start Trademarking and Copyrighting some things. (be warned you blog thief's out there!!! I am copyrighted on my current conflicted drivel.)
You have to know if Donald Trump can go after the copyright for the phrase "YOU'RE FIRED". I can go after a few phrases of some notoriety that no one happens to own the right to YET.
Before I get into the part about the phrases I want to become the registered owner of, let's look at the new applications for copyrights.
Charlie Sheen is back in the news. You would think the big story for Charlie would be his moronic behavior and his ridiculous show, however, one of the big stories is the fact he is going after the trademarks on his "catch phrases". This is the real story of what your mind does when it is on drugs, it apparently comes up with stupid catch phrases that can be marketed.
Charlie's Brain on Drugs
The I.P. attorney is being a little evasive on the entire list of the 22 phrases that are in questions but these are listed:
Vatican Assassin
Tiger Blood
Rock Star from Mars
I'm not Bi-Polar, I am Bi-Winning
Duh, Winning
Adonis DNA
Sober Valley Lodge (ok, I am thinking that he deserves that one)
Sheen's Goddesses
Violent Torpedo of Truth
Defeat Is Not an Option (that one sounds vaguely familiar, doesn't it?)
I am conflicted (of course) on his actual rights to any of these phrases with maybe the exception of the Sober Valley Lodge, but I do see where the marketing could bring him some cash. Who wouldn't find the irony in buying drug paraphernalia with the phrase "Duh, Winning" on it. The "Rock Star from Mars" has a certain double entendre quality when used with his other phrase "I was banging 7 oz. rocks that would have killed normal people". Truly, why isn't he selling T-shirts with that phrase on it?" (maybe he already is and I am just out to the loop)
I guess we can't fault the guy for trying...Oh wait...sure we can. This really isn't any worse than when Paris Hilton (another of my faves, I say while sticking my fingers down my throat) trademarking "That's Hot! In Paris' case it actually put her in the position to sue Hallmark cards for using that phrase in some greeting cards.
The Jersey Shore cast tried to trademark all their names. Unfortunately for Snooki, her name is too close to a cartoon cat named Snooky, so her request was denied. The Situation was also, denied because of a line of shoes that are named Situation. (the THE didn't help). The one cast member, supposedly, that did get her name trademarked was J-WOWW. So be warned if you go around using J-WOWW without the proper permission you are in trouble.
The other celeb that went after a trademark was Sarah Palin. Her application was denied, however, because she forgot to sign her name on the application. I just think that is so funny. Really, sending an application for a trademark on your name and forgetting to sign your name. (heh heh)
What might I want to Trademark you say?? I want to trademark the phrase "I'm just sayin". I have noticed it's presence everywhere. So...I want to own the rights to it.
BE WARNED! In the future, if I have my way, you will be paying me for the use of that phrase.
I'M JUST SAYIN'
The Good for the Day...Great blog reading this morning. Gosh, there are clever people out there.
The Bad for the Day... I am feeling a little less crabby this morning than normal so let's not ruin it with a bad.
The Weird for the Day...For those of you that aren't already aware April 20th is National Pot Smoking Day.
In today's KC Star there is a warning that extra police are on duty to scout out the celebrants of NPSD.
Gosh, I am glad they brought the holiday to my attention. I wouldn't of known otherwise.
Every Tuesday a group of really talented bloggers are given an assignment over at BlogDumps to write about a certain topic and today that topic is supposed to be a Easter Memory. I have been racking my brain as to a particular Easter that would stand out among the many. HHHHMMMM
Nope, nothing in particular.
A couple of thoughts do come to mind though.
The first one being that my memory moved out about the same time the kids did. That would be in 1991 and 1993 respectively. This could be the reason for not being able to recall a particular event that would be the kind of Easter event that Lifetime Movies or Hallmark Cards would want to incorporate into one of their products.
My second thought is that our Easters, while being pretty uneventful over the years, have transitioned somewhat in how we celebrate them.
Our family Easter tradition timeline
Teenaged wedded bliss equals too poor to do much of anything but always had a nice dinner.
Young married couple with babies too tired to do much past going to church in the morning and having a nice dinner.
Young couple with young children having fun with the Easter Bunny and egg hunts, going to church and eating a nice dinner.
Not quite as young couple with teenagers that begrudge the day of not hanging with their friends but still we went to church and had a big dinner.
Really not so young couple with college students coming home for Spring Break, going to church and eating a big dinner.
Older couple participating in the lives of their grown children who are young and having fun with their little ones with the Easter Bunny and egg hunts, going to church and eating a nice dinner.
ONE OF OUR LITTLE BROOD
LOOKING FOR EASTER EGGS
LAST YEAR
While our Easters remain very uneventful in the real sense of the word they are special in the sense that for 40 years our little foursome that has grown into way more than four...still enjoys the mundane act of just hanging out, going to church and eating a big dinner.
We may be dull but we are consistent.
The cat seems to be getting in on the action, though.
The good for the day...hubby is home from a very long business trip and can enjoy just lazing around through Easter.
The Bad for the Day... The weather is really sucky here today. DREARY, DRIZZLY and DAMP
Recently the Today Show did a poll asking mothers if they experienced guilt. The poll, Escaping the Mommy Guilt Trap showed that 94 percent of the mother's polled said they feel guilty.
I have a few problems with this poll. You absolutely knew I would, didn't you?
A. Why are we limiting it to mother's feeling guilty? Isn't there enough guilt to share among the fathers, aunt's, uncle's, grandparents and anyone else in the passing vicinity of the child? Really why isn't the TSA pat-down artist that made the little 6 year old cry, being included?
B. Why does the wording of the poll give the indication that feeling guilt "is in the present tense". I think, I can safely say that mothers of older children are carrying guilt forward. For example, here are a few guilts that I cling to rather zealously even though my children are grown.
1. I feel badly that I owe Big Bird $17,476.23 in back babysitting money.
2. Also, feeling badly for slighting Mr. Rogers. I never sent a letter to his neighborhood and thanked him for teaching my kids to hang up their sweaters and put their shoes into the closet.
3. I am sorry that I damaged Kiddo #2 skateboard by trying to....well...ride a skateboard... but what I did in actuality was crash a skateboard into the mailbox. Doesn't sound like much now, but young boys value their boards.
4. I feel guilty and embarrassed that I backed into Kiddo #1 car when she was 16 because I was running late for work and didn't look behind me. Had it been her driving, I would have yelled at her for being careless. You know and I know it.
5. I especially feel guilty for harshly scolding Kiddo #2 for biting the little girl in our back yard after he asked her repeatedly to let him have a turn on his new swing set. I over reacted because the mother of "the little brat Lindsey, told me my kid was the devil and I was a horrible mother. In retrospect, I should of told that bitch to keep her rotten kid out of my yard and additionally, teach her little snot box to share.
6. I feel guilty about the time that I was running late to pickup Kiddo #2 from preschool and Kiddo #1 decided to walk home from her grade school because I hadn't gotten there on time. When I did locate my MIA first grader she was sitting on our front porch of our house crying. For this guilt, you could come over and shoot me through my heart with a blunt arrow and it would hurt less.
7. I feel guilt for all the times I lost my patience because, I worked full time and was tired and worried about everything imaginable, (because that is who I am) and was abrupt with them. They didn't deserve it, I am sure.
8. I am guilty of not telling my kids 10,000+ times what great kids they were/are and how despite the fact I made mistakes, they grew up to be good people.
9. Last one of thousands that I could write. I am feeling some remorse for the fact I didn't send graduation announcements out to everyone that made my kids feel badly or criticized them unjustly, when they both graduated from college with honors.(yeah, both with honors, top of their classes) I would have liked the announcements to be similar to the recordable Hallmark cards so when the aforementioned butt heads opened them they went
"NA NA NAH NA NA".
Well, blogees, I realize I could keep kicking myself in the butt for numerous faux pas on my part but let us move to another question.
Here's, what I want to know. "Why are the 6 percent of women that took this poll saying they have no guilt?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU SIX PERCENT??? ARE YOU INCAPABLE OF EMOTION? ARE YOU NOT HUMAN? WHAT IS UP WITH THE NO GUILT? ARE YOU PERFECT IN ALL THINGS OR JUST MOTHERING?
Are you truly the SUPERMOM that I wanted to be but didn't achieve. I hope you are all writing "how to" books and publishing MOMMY BLOGS. Too late for me to follow your example but maybe I could apply some of your vast knowledge on how to do every thing right with my grandsons.
While this song is a parent singing about a son, it could be equally about a daughter.
The Good for the Day....Our children grow up in spite of our weaknesses.
The Bad for the Day...Some parents just don't even make an effort to TRY and do right by their children.
The Weird for the day... That my children escaped any real harm in the production of their lives with me as their mother.
Not that I have ever gone to a psychic, but I think they could really make their job easier by asking the client to fork over their smart phone. Everything that anyone would want to know, surely is available on someone's phone. Name, address, relatives, interests, ....yeh, it's all there...just have to have it interpreted. I suppose the real psychics don't need this little short cut but if you are a "genuine" fake here is a way to get the goods on your client to make your "little show" work.
A large part of the "reading" is going to be the psychic's ability to figure out the apps.
A tech savvy sooth sayer who got a look at a person's phone might be able to piece together a fairly accurate profile of a person's interests, hobbies, or even their sick sense of humor.
Here is how I see it. Apple, alone offers more than 350,000 apps now. Additionally there are tens of thousands of other apps from other companies. So....let's just say there are hundreds of thousands of applications available for the IPhone, Android, Evo, IPad, and whatever other techy gadget that you might be haulin' around.
OK...what might be on your phone??
If you are a shopper there will be possibly store apps. Thousands of stores, thousands of products.
If you have specific interests you will have apps for those...let's say wine, golf, shoes, travel and on and on into infinity.
If you are directionally challenged maybe you have a GPS.
Like music? Tons of apps are related to music.
Have small children that you want to lure into quiet time, there are apps for that. Puzzles, games, Baby Piano, to name a few. You can even have your phone read a story to the kid for $1.99.
Now here are a few and you can tell me what you think these apps would say about a person? Don't be shy. Send your answers in on the comments or email. I am not fussy.
Note: These are real apps that are available today. So if you think you need these, start downloading them to your smart phones while they are still available.
1. ibeer - this is a virtual beer that you can pretend drink on your phone. Trying to give up beer, never fear you can download imilk.
2. ipee urinal - this is a virtual urinal to get rid of the virtual beer. Without going into to much description you have to hold your "equipment" to start and let go to stop. If you flush and it doesn't work then there is a virtual plunger available.
3. Confession: The Roman Catholic app or I Confess app. The first one is an app to help you keep track of all your indiscretions and the second one is just for "shooting off your mouth about all your dirty little secrets. " So if you grossly misbehaved after you got virtually drunk on your virtual beer and did something BAD. You can virtually confess it.
4. And if you are virtually drunk after drinking your virtual beer why don't you just download these apps. Really, if you are drunk you are going to find these apps HYSTERICAL
A. That's What She Said -when you press the button, it prefaces everything you say with "that's what she said".
B. Talking Tom - this is a funny cat that repeats everything you say in a funny voice and makes funny faces. While that doesn't sound all that fun now, wait till your virtually drunk.
C. Fatbooth - It will take any body's picture and you can morph it into a fat person. The person that is getting virtually fat won't find it nearly as funny as you do.
D. Doggie Talk - When you hold your phone in front of a dog it will translate his bark into human talk. They claim it is patented technology. Woof, woof, I believe. Also, available in Kitty Talk, meow, meow.
E. And last and most assuredly the least. There are dozens of apps that can make noises. If you are virtually drunk, you will want, ifart, fart for free, fart cushion or fart piano. Lot's of choices.
There you have just a sampling of how to make your smart phone an extension of your true self.
AND....as far as a psychic goes there is an app for that too.
Just download Psychic Aura onto your phone.
The Good for the Day....someone got paid to think up some of these apps.
The Bad for the Day.... someone got paid to think up some of these apps.
The Weird for the Day.... clever advertising by the Hot Wheels people. Fun in a weird "get your attention" kind of way
I was watching some clips on the AOL home page and ran across a story about Felice Cohen, a New Yorker that is renting a Manhattan apartment. The apartment is located in the desirable (might I even say enviable for some) Upper East West side. Felice considers herself very lucky, indeed, to live in New York City just minutes away from Central Park, famous restaurants, Times Square and all the fun hustle and bustle that goes with living in THE city.
Felice, even has manageable rent by Manhattan standards. She is paying $700 for her little slice of heaven. Here's the rub. The apartment is 90 square foot. I am not talking about the kitchen, nor am I referring to to the guest room...no I am talking about the WHOLE apartment.
I am not "knocking" her choice. Different strokes for different folks, as they say. (again, I have not a freakin clue who "they" are) If living in the city is what rocks Felice's world, more power to her. I am merely pointing out that very few Americans are this "pared" down and can get their stuff into a closet and simultaneously live in said closet.
As a realtor, I see a lot of houses any given week/month/year and I have yet to see a person live in less than 300 square foot. In fact, I had a listing for a little bungalow that was around 780 square foot and I couldn't hardly give the thing away. (it was adorable, by the way) Here in the Heartland, bigger sells over smaller, any day of the week. Just to equate dollars, if a person wanted a $700 house payment they probably could buy a 2400 square foot home with a yard. It would have 3/4 bedrooms and probably 3 bathrooms. (2.5 really but I am rounding up)
NOTE: I stopped typing and went to MLS and did a search. I came up with 307 houses in just my town (Olathe) that would give you around a $700 house payment. Here are two examples. Now, for all of you out there in the blogosphere going, " Yeh, but who in the hell would want to live in Kansas City as opposed to Manhattan??" That would be the people that want more than 90 square foot for $700 per month. Both of my examples give you a house payment of $698.00.
Well, to move on to my second thought for Tuesday. Here we have
a second story about a woman that did one better. She has an entire house under 90 square foot. Here is a person that really can minimize. She built her own house and it is 84 square foot.
Dee Williams of Olympia, Washington has built herself what she is calling her "dream house". I will say that you just have to love her "thinking out-side of the box" (oh wait...she is living in it) approach to life.
Her home is the size of a parking spot (well...almost the size of a parking spot). Dee's reasons are to simplify her life. All kidding aside, I actually think she might have the right idea. While I am not on board to actually live in a home smaller than my master bedroom closet, I applaud the "concept" of living a less materialistic life. You go, Dee. If it wasn't for the whole claustrophobia thing, you have to love the fact her winter heating bill is $6.00.
The Good for the Day....I may live in a place that is "slightly" less exciting that New York City but I live just minutes away from these two cuties. (grandchildren are better than about anything)
The Bad for the Day.... On this morning's news the opening announcement was "Now that the budget has passed the real fight begins". What??? Wasn't that a real fight????
The Weird for the day.... Maybe not as weird as funny...
Middle-aged (if I become a centenarian) living a middle-class life in the very middle of the country and continually struggling with the pros and cons of every topic. Seriously, conflicted.
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