Idiots, Idioms, and Incidents

As I was checking my sources for the lesser reported news stories for the week, I happened to notice a lot of the headlines were similar to well known idioms.  Go figure....idioms in the news.  (Please note: I said idioms not idiots, although, to be fair,  there did seem to be some overlap.)

For any of you that might have slept through  English class the day  idioms  were discussed, let me refresh your memory.....

id·i·om/ˈidēəm/

Noun:

A group of words established by usage as having a meaning not deducible from those of the individual words (e.g., raining cats and dogs). A form of expression natural to a language, person, or group of people: "he had a feeling for phrase and idiom".

Serious as a Heart Attack



A menu for those that like to live on the edge.

 As idioms go, this one is rather straight forward. It means the person is "very serious".  Here is an example:

Some of the other customers aka "patients" that were dining at the Las Vegas Heart Attack Grill might have been confused when a customer dining on a Triple Bypass Burger appeared to be having a heart attack.  Unsure if the event was a "spoof" fellow diners were initially laughing and taking pictures.  As it turns out, it wasn't a hoax.

In the restaurant where  members of the wait staff are referred to as nurses and doctors, it became apparent that one of their patients was having a true medical emergency.  Paramedics (real EMTs as opposed to pretend restaurant employees)  were called to aid Tim Szymanski who was lunching on the 6000 calorie burger when he apparently did have a cardiac episode.  The hospital is not releasing his condition due to privacy laws. However, local news media have reported that the customer is recovering.

Jon Basso, the restaurant's owner,  who promotes himself as "Doctor Jon" said there is no way the restaurant would have participated in that type of publicity stunt. 

Can't say he wasn't warned.  Have you ever seen a clearer example of Truth in Advertising???

Shoot Yourself in the Foot

I am sure all of you have heard the idiom "shoot yourself in the foot".  If you look it up in the dictionary this is what you will see. 

shoot yourself in the foot

Meaning: If you shoot yourself in the foot, you harm yourself in some way by doing something stupid or making a silly mistake.
For example:
The Minister of Agriculture shot himself in the foot by saying that farmers couldn't understand economics because they weren't educated. He resigned soon after.

For a real life example: A Brazilian bank robber took the idiom to heart.  Upon guarding the door while his buddies stole $16,000 from a bank, the bungling burglar shot himself. Yes, he did...in the foot.  He was arrested later after seeking medical treatment at a local hospital.

You have to admit...as examples go...this is a good one.


Keep Your Chin Up 

or

Over the Top

  There are a number of idioms that could fit this story,  if one wants to use their imagination a bit. Actually, some of these idioms  fit the story both figuratively and literally.



Sheyla is going to be discussing her need for larger breasts
on TLC this coming Sunday. She doesn't appear to be a big fan of
the idiom "less is more". 

 Sheyla Hershey currently holds the record in the Guinness Book of World Records for having the "World's Largest Enhanced Breasts" at a whopping 38KKK.  She has gone back to her doctor to try to have them enhanced to MMMs. (which I can only assume stands for Monumentally Massive Mammories) She had tried last year but due to a staph infection had to have the implants removed.  She is going to try again.

hhhMMMM...how about the idioms "last but not least, or "in your face".  Really, the possibilities are endless.

Let Sleeping Dogs Lie*

(*disclosure this dog is really, really sleeping)

A man in Sarnia, Ont. was sorting through the mail and found a pre-approved credit card offer for his dog Spark.   Spark Sloan, the sheltie-spaniel mix was eligible to sign up online for a credit limit of $30,000 with Capital One.

The problem with the offer was two fold.

#1- It was addressed to Spark, a DOG.
#2 - Spark died 10 years ago.

Kelly Sloan, Spark's former owner,  was quoted as saying  "It’s a heck of a deal. She can apply online today, and I guess, get her card. With the economy the way it is, I can understand they’re becoming a little more lenient than they were as far as passing out credit cards.” The family went on to say that if Spark had been able to get her paws on a credit card, she would have loved a  blue hula hoop.

Capital One apologized for the error and said that before an
actual card is issued there is an application process that is subject to  approval.

The credit card company stated that the  applicant would have had to jump through some additional hoops before receiving a credit line.   Well, put Capital One.  Let's imagine it would be blue.