Wieners, Weapons and Weirdos

For those of you that aren't familiar with my Friday posts, I try to keep an eye out for news that is under-reported due to the over-reporting of the "big story" of the moment.    This week there have been several stories that have taken over the lion's share of the news programming,  so you might not have realized anything else that was happening in the world.  John Edward's trial is under way and it would seem that John has some explaining to do. Also, how could anyone not be aware of the ongoing investigation of the Secret Service employees caught with their pants down (in a manner of speaking) in Columbia.  I am thinking some valuable lessons have been learned from that incident.   One of those lessons being... pay your hooker if you want her not to report you to the people that employ you.

I have rounded up a few other news items, just on the outside chance you might have missed these odd,... hhhmmmm weird...let's go with stupid stories.

Dirty Dogs

No, I am not still talking about the John Edward's trial or the SS guys.  I am talking about the hot dog vendor in New Mexico that rammed his cart into a rival hot dog vendor in front of the Metro Court.

According to the report, the hot dog biz is very competitive in Albuquerque and the animosity boiled over on Monday.  Police report that Eric Kilmer ran over the legs and feet of fellow dog dealer, Vincent Montoya.  Kilmer is being charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon...the weapon being his hot dog cart.  This, by the way,  is a felony.



Maybe this isn't the exact likeness of the "deadly
weapon" but I think it shows a little
more grit than a regular hot dog cart.

 While Eric was MIA from work on Wednesday, the local news did interview an employee to try to ascertain what the cause of the skirmish was and the employee said:


"See, I respect him, dude, I respect him a lot and I don't care what anyone says, dude, that's how I feel, dude," the employee said, adding that what happened was really an accident that got blown out of proportion. "Like you know I'm a family man, dude, you know, I got a little girl and I'm trying to make my money, dude, and it's just an accident that came out of proportion, dude. That's all I'm gonna say."  (Really, dude? Can we use the word dude a couple more times for good measure?)

Other vendors said they are mortified about the attack, and worried about the impact on their businesses. "It just makes it scary for a vendor like myself," said Julieta Chavez, owner of a gourmet coffee cart called La Vida Mocha. "I'm out here by myself and I don't want something like that to happen to me as well. You don't want violence."

Kilmer's charge is a third degree felony. If he's convicted, he could be facing up to three years in prison.

Vendor violence, wiener wars...poor Julieta is at risk...put down your weapons, Albuquerque..or at least set the parking brakes.


Panda Poo Tea

You probably think I am making up this next story but....I AM NOT!!!

Reuters reported this week that this week An Yashi, a  lecturer at Sinchuan University, is collecting excrement from pandas to make the worlds most expensive tea. Yashi is using the panda feces as a fertilizer to grow an organic green tea.   (This story, leads me to think that Reuters is running out of real news.)

Wouldn't you buy some $200.00 a cup Panda Poo
tea from this guy?

 Yashi says that panda poo is rich in fiber and nutrients and has a unique aroma...yep, that is the word he used... which imparts a special something to his tea blend.

An (An's name seems funny when used in a sentence) donned a panda suit to promote his tea and he believes that it will rake in around $36,000 per pound. 


The problem with Panda Poo tea, isn't so much the fact this guy is using panda manure for growing his tea, as I suspect, we wouldn't be quite as grossed-out had he used compost (cow or horse manure).  The problem is that he estimates a cup of this elixir is going to cost over $200.  Really, that is some expensive SH**.  He does say that you will feel warm and fuzzy after drinking it, though.  Good to know you won't be pissing your money away...a wait..yes, you will.




Oh, shoot...I probably shouldn't have left the room.

I think perhaps...just maybe...that is what the instructor thought when he heard a gun shot.

A firearms safety course went awry in Bedford County, Virginia on Saturday afternoon when a participant shot himself in the hand with a .45-caliber handgun and the bullet passed through his hand and struck his wife, seated next to him, in the leg.



Everyone who is in favor of
gun safety, raise your hand.  

 Shot were Michael L. Deel and his wife Michelle.   The Deels were attending a firearms safety class being taught and hosted by Thomas Starke, according to the police report.

The sheriff's office said Starke told deputies that he had left the room, heard a shot and returned to find the Deels had been shot.

The couple was taken by ambulance to Carilion Roanoke Memorial Hospital with injuries that were not considered life-threatening.


Let's Make a Deal

A burglar in Bremerton, Washington broke into a home Tuesday morning around 3 AM.  After loading up some of the homeowners belongings, he inadvertently woke up the owner who grabbed a gun and yelled "Get out!, I have a gun!" to which the burglar replied "Yes, sir!"

Unfortunately, our hapless burglar dropped a bag on his way out that contained some papers identifying who he was.  So what does a burglar do????  He calls the homeowners later in the day and offered a swap.

Yes, a swap of some of the stolen stuff for the bag he dropped.  Part of the deal, however was for the homeowners not to report him to the police.

Needless to say, when he returned to the home to execute the deal, officers were there waiting and arrested him for investigation of residential burglary.

"It's very unusual,"   Sgt. Kevin Crane  of the Bremerton Police said. "I've never seen this happen before where a burglar contacts the victim trying to make a deal to exchange things he left behind for some of the items he stole from the victims."

Crane said the burglar remained polite through the ordeal, even apologizing to the homeowners as he was being arrested.

I guess it doesn't always pay to be polite.  There, also, doesn't seem to be a big payoff for being an idiot...even a gracious idiot.


So there, you have my picks for the odd news bytes of the week.  If you see any funny or odd news that might be overlooked, be sure to email me at artofconflicted@aol.com.

Why NOT have a baby after 50

Clearly there are reasons not to become new mommy over the age of 50.  I know, I know, ....I have already offended a whole bunch of you mommies-to-be that are jonesing to add to  your brood at 53 or 54 or whatever.  I am just here to offer up an opinion or two, as to why you might want to rethink the whole "what fun it could be to have a new baby in the house...even though you should be thinking about retirement" idea. 

I happened to come across an  older article this week written by Karen Day, an NBC reporter who decided along with her husband to have a baby at the age of 53.  At the time she had older children but felt the time was right to expand her family.  If you are wanting to read this article to support any notions of procreating you might be having, you can click here for your reading pleasure. I noticed that the original article was written in 2007 and I can't find any newer, more recently written articles telling us how everything is going.  My best guess is, she is taking a lot of naps now and doesn't have time to write.  Then, as my curiosity was up and running rampant, I did a little research and women over 50 are have babies fairly regularly. With all the medical advances to help the cause, it would appear that women's biological clocks keep on ticking...at least a lot longer.  In fact, I was able to find a number of articles about 60  year old "new" mommies and YES even a couple  of women in their 70s giving birth.  Did you hear me???...GIVING BIRTH!!!!

Anyway, the whole idea of me having a baby in my late 50s...OMG the very thought has me ready to vomit...left me with the realization that I am not capable of being a mommy (of little ones, that is)  anymore.  I think that there aren't enough energy drinks in all of Kansas to help me keep pace with a new baby from birth to college at my age.

The reason I have come to this declaration of "I am too flipping old is this.......

Last week I was feeling rather spry...youngish even.  I work out, I eat right...the 50s are the new 40s right??? WRRRROOOONNNNG.

The truth is...
I am a GRANDPARENT. This was clearly proven, beyond a shadow of a doubt,  last week when I took my two adorable grandsons for a week so mommy and daddy could take a romantic trip sans their little boys.   My grandsons are really nice, well-behaved little guys at the ages of 1.5 and 4.  They are adorable.  I know you think I am bias and all...but really they are ADORABLE.

The basic problem, as I see it is my lack of stamina to keep up with a one year old and a 4 year old.
It should have been easy-peasy, right?  No problem.  I managed two children full time when my own kids were kids.  The missing link seems to be I was in my 20's.  My very early 20's. Now I am not.



Thought #1.... There are Reasons 50+ year olds were never intended to be new mommies.

Thought #2--- Grandparenting is easier and way more fun

I take the role of being Grandma very seriously.  It is my JOB to make sure they have fun all the time.  It is, also, my job to let them eat total crap.  Sugar..sure..no limits.  That is what I am here for.

Hugs, kisses, lots of sugar, lots of mac and cheese, grilled cheese and ....french toast with syrup and powdered sugar sprinkled on top.  These are the rules.  I don't make this stuff up.  

Typically, when the two little guys come over and I load them up with sugar and shower them with fun and very few "NOs", I get the glory of handing them back to their parents.  At that point,  my daughter and her hubby can oversee them  while they come down off the sugar high while assuring them that there are limits.  (BTW...the response to that is "not at Grandma's house.")

 This  little setup works perfectly fine for me and Grandpa.

Note-At Grandma's house, the binky (pacifier) can be used as needed.
The bouncing baby does not have a blue smile.




 
Usually, by the time mommy and daddy come and pick up the G-Boys, this is what they look like.

So anyway, last week after having them for a week, I have discovered that I love having them around, they are adorable but clearly I don't have the energy that I once had.  By the end of the week this is what I looked like. 






Notice that the footwear no longer alludes to "high energy and
stamina. 

So my grand-sweeties are back home and are none the worse for wear after having put up with me for the week.  Gosh, my house is so quiet.  Crazy, how quiet.

Oh, BTW here is the real grandboys... They are adorable aren't they???

Just so you know..due to copyright restrictions, I need to tell you this photo was taken by Captures In Time ....so here is the link to their studio. 

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It's the Letter P

Here it is the end of another week and our hapless bunch of news makers have make a few "missteps". This week, there seems to be a preponderance for the letter P.  Planes, pilots,  planets, pot,  pictures, police and paranormal have all been reported this week.


Riddle...The Difference Between  "Plane" and "Planet"

An exhausted Air Canada pilot mistook the planet Venus for an airplane and sent the plane into a rapid 400 foot descent in order to prevent an imaginary collision from occurring, according to an official report released Monday. Canada’s Transportation Safety Board released the statement which read:


"Under the effects of significant sleep inertia (Yeh, we get it....the guy was half asleep) the first officer perceived the oncoming aircraft as being on a collision course and began a descent to avoid it."

The unfortunate event occurred at night on board a Boeing 767 twin passenger plane flying from Toronto to Zurich 95 passengers and a crew of 8 aboard. According to reports, the first officer had just awoke from a long nap. According to the report, in a disoriented state:

"The FO (First Officer) initially mistook the planet Venus for an aircraft but the captain advised again that the target was at the 12 o’clock position(straight ahead) and 1,000 feet below."

No one on the plane was wearing their seat belts, despite the "fasten your seat belt" indicator being turned, which resulted in the subsequent injury of 14 passengers and 2 crew members. (oh no you didn't..... just blame the passengers for their injuries!)  Seven required medical treatment and were taken to the hospital. Air Canada expressed their sincerest apologies to the passengers injured in the accident and explained that they are currently in the process of taking the steps requisite in order to avoid a recurrence. Their approach is simply to remind pilots to follow the rules regarding taking naps during flights and increased efforts to heighten crew awareness to the effects of pilot fatigue.


OOPS....I think that the statement from Air Canada reps stating that they will takes steps in order for that not to happen again is commendable but clearly a little light.  Reminding the pilots not to wake up "groggy" from their naps, doesn't seem quite stern enough.  Their first order of business should be to  get a big flashing sign on Venus that says "I am a planet not a plane."  The T makes all the difference.



Posting Pictures of Stealing is Poorly Thought Out

There it was on Facebook for all to see – Michael Baker with a gas can, a siphon hose stuck into a police cruiser in eastern Kentucky and a middle finger raised.

Micheal, if I were one of your Facebook friends, I
would give you a status update"
YOU ARE A MORON!

Among those who saw it were Jenkins police, who arrested 20-year-old Baker on Monday and charged him with theft by unlawful taking. (Isn't that the definition of theft...unlawful taking????)


Police didn't laugh. Chief Allen Bormes says that if Baker would steal from police, he'd steal from "just about anybody."


Authorities say they plan to buy lockable gas caps.

OK,  Let me see if I have this straight.  Instead of catching thieves and keeping them from stealing (especially from cops) they are going to lock up their gas caps.  That is some serious police work.

Granny's Plan for Retirement is Pot

A Granny in Oklahoma has a real flair for running her own business.  Unfortunately her business, is illegal.  Never-the-less, a 73 year old woman, Darlene Mayes, has been arrested and authorities believe she is the kingpin of a drug ring that provides 40% of all the marijuana in Oklahoma, Arkansas, Kansas and Missouri. 


 Well, now aren't looks deceiving?  Kingpin?
Drug Lord????



In Mayes' house, cops found the supply in her bedroom, which reeked of weed. A vacuum-sealed bag full of the stuff was found in the closet, and bundles of bills labeled "$15,000" were found under her box spring. They found a pipe and another bag of weed in the bathroom, and a total of $200,000 in more vacuum-sealed bags in a guest room where Mayes' grandchildren reportedly slept.

In the article it was quoted that Vinita Police Cheif Boby Floyd  told The Daily, an IPad only news site,  "That was quite a surprise. She is in very good shape for her age." (huh? Did he just say that?)

Mayes allegedly first told officers that the money was for her retirement fund.

This story brought up a lot of questions in my mind. Why isn't a female ringleader called a queenpin? ...and really let's give her a little "woot, woot"  ...40 percent of the market share!!!
If she was selling something legal we would really be impressed.  AND who does the interviewing for the IPad only news???  Oh yeah, and as far as her retirement, I think it has been taken care of.


Ghostbusters are a bust

A New Jersey couple is suing their landlord.  Now you wouldn't think this would be even worthy of my "back page" news...but clearly, it just doesn't take much to amuse me today.


In Toms River, N.J. Josue Chinchilla (see, I am already amused...Chinchilla???) and Michele Calan, an attorney by trade, are suing their landlord to break their lease and refund their $2,250 security deposit.


Why????...because they say the house they leased is haunted.  (Allegedly)


Dr. Richard Lopez, the owner of the house isn't about to return the deposit and claims the couple is in violation of the lease's terms.  He is counter suing, although none of the articles say exactly what he is suing for.


According the Doc Lopez, he thinks the couple is just using the "haunted" claim as a way to get out of a lease that they can't afford. 

But the couple contend their fright is real. They say that shortly after they moved in on March 1, they heard mysterious sounds coming from the basement, lights turned on and off by themselves, doors creaked open and slammed shut, and clothes and towels that were stored in closets somehow wound up on the floor. To top it off, an unknown force tugged at Chinchilla's sheets in bed one night, and Callan saw a dark apparition in the bedroom, they told the Asbury Park Press.

To help prove their case the couple called in  “ghostbusters” – the Shore Paranormal Research Society, a nonprofit team that investigates and tries to prove the  claims of paranormal activity.

But Carlson says he’s not ready to call the house “haunted.”

This is the house...perhaps, I have taken a few liberties with the visitors.

“There’s a big difference between ‘haunted’ and ‘paranormal activity,’" Carlson told msnbc.com on Tuesday.

“Paranormal means you have an occurrence that can’t be explained scientifically. Haunted? No, I do not think so. Do I think there’s stuff paranormal going on there? Absolutely.”

Carlson wouldn’t offer an opinion on the merits of the couple’s lawsuit. But he says there was clearly something unexplained going on in the house.

The couple has since moved into a motel. “This has been a horrific nightmare for us,” Callan told the newspaper.

Well, so much for the ghostbusting group helping the matter.  Splitting hairs aren't we???.... whether to call it "paranormal activity" or "haunted".  When things are moving around, short sheeting your bed and flashing the lights on and off, it's time to move. 

So much for the news this week, my bloggee friends.  Feel free to send me any unusual news that you hear about and I will try to report it next time. 

Reasons Not to Become a Cat Lady

I know there is always going to be a debate over which is the better pet...cats or dogs.  What you say??? No debate!   I think I hear that coming from the dog-lovers out there.  Still, I have had both dogs and cats and I consider it a close race. 

My experience has been that cats are a much hairier  and surly (aka snotty) version of a lap dog. Also, they have a more narcissistic way of looking at things.  The upside to a cat is they don't expect you to be their BFF,  they don't feel the need to be constantly adoring you, or sniffing you in private areas that just don't need sniffed, and they never our haul your tired butt outdoors in all manner of weather for a walk. So until the time Rover falls in love with the idea of a litter box, I am prepared to call this a tie.

The only time, I really see a substantial PLUS in the dog's favor is on the day it is time for the annual vet visit.  Cats turn into monsters.   Not just figuratively speaking.  I am talking MONSTERS.



Yesterday was the day, to haul out the little pet carriers to transport my two adorable little friends in to see their doctor. 


Thought Number One---prior to the cat crates coming out my girls are sweet as can be...that is as sweet as cats can be.

See how sweet they are prior to seeing their carrier.

Chantel isn't smiling for the pic, but only because she
is camera shy.

Carmen is our sweet girl, even the true "haters-of-all-cats" tend to
be taken in by Carmen's charms. 

Perhaps, you don't remember Carmen without her tiara on?

So back to the story....I had hubby help track down the girls, who always feel the need to hide when they see the totes come out. 

Thought Number Two-- After the crates come out, it all goes down hill.

Don't they look happy?? 




At this point Chantel is thinking on how to get even with
me when she gets loose. These are the same thoughts
I imagine most serial killers must have prior to their capture.

 



Carmen, is under the misguided notion that
by burying herself under the little cage's mat
that we won't be able to  find her.




After the short ride over the the Vet's office which my two little cats have growled, mmmeeeoooowwwwed and spit to let it be known that are indeed...less than pleased to be going on an outing.




For those of you that know the "real me"  I am sure you notice the accurate portrayal of Cheryl P.
I did leave out the under-eye circles, as I found them distracting and my art work is bad
enough without adding more negatives.



Not that they aren't already showing their best behavior...  or NOT.. when the doc walks into the room, they go cat-shit crazy.

So, while vets in general,  try to put on a game face as far as misbehaving cats go....

Here is the thing:

I know that they know that I know they would rather be treating dogs....

EVEN MEAN DOGS....

EVEN MEAN DOGS WITH FLEAS...

more than they would want to be treating my two hissing cats.

All creatures great and small survived the day!!!!! The vet even managed

to remain unscathed.



 Here we are back at home letting the effects of "whatever is in those shots" wear off. 

It's been awhile since, I have added one of the Simon the Cat videos so in honor of my Two Thoughts for Tuesday here is a video called Double Trouble

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Bad for Business

Another Friday has come and the I have been noticing a number of stories of the "lesser reported" variety that has to do with how people are trying to make money.  Unfortunately, there seems to be a trend this week of entrepreneurs that really have no business, what-so-ever...being in business.  Our stories this week, show that not all roads lead to riches. In fact, some lead to the local jailhouse.

Here a Tip, Don't Rob a Bank

A firefighter has been arrested after allegedly robbing a Dallas bank, then giving $20 of the stolen funds back to the teller as a tip.

Jesus Ventura, has been charged with robbing a Chase Bank on April 10, according to U.S. Attorney Sarah R. Saldana.
Last Friday, Ventura entered the bank and reportedly said, "Give me all the money," multiple times to the teller before the teller gave Ventura the money. After receiving the funds, Ventura took a $20 bill and slid it back under the glass to the teller, saying, "Here is a tip for you."

Dallas police later arrested Ventura when he allegedly attempted to rob a second business. Officers recovered the black backpack containing the money from the Chase Bank robbery.

Ventura was already on administrative leave from his job for allegedly bringing a  loaded, semi-automatic rifle into the fire station. 

For all it's worth, it is never a good idea to rob a bank but it is a good idea to tip for good customer service.  I did find it interesting though, the article said he had to ask numerous time for the money before the teller gave it to him AND she still got a tip???? What's up with that???


Being the Butt of the Joke




call me crazy, but does this bode well for the results one
might expect from Oneals injections?  Holy Buckets!!!

  Seriously, I am talking about the BUTT of the joke.  I have heard the story several times this week about the woman that was arrested for setting up a business to inject friends, acquaintances, idiots, and anyone with no self-respect but has a little cash, with "substances" to enhance their behinds.  These substances consisted of flat-tire sealant, glue, caulk and cement. As these injections don't set well with the AMA or local law enforcement,  Oneal Ron Morris was arrested on numerous charges including practicing medicine without a license.




Oneal is a man that identifies himself as a woman and has a history of related charges in other counties in Florida. Thursday, he/she entered a plea of not guilty in Broward County.

Considering, I don't let someone cut my hear if their hair looks bad, I don't think I am up to get my butt enhanced by Oneal.  I think this dude really knows how to turn the phrase "Junk in the trunk" into reality.


You Kept the Doctor Waiting

You are probably thinking I typed that incorrectly.  No...for a change, it is not the patient being kept waiting by the doctor. 

A Russian doctor, disgruntled by a 20 minute inconvenience at a car dealership, went on a rampage destroying several cars and demolishing a showroom floor, police said.

A 35-year-old obstetrician initially waited calmly in a reception area but after a 20 minute wait, he became increasingly angry until his temper reached a boiling point. Rather than seek out an employee for assistance, the man went outside and got into the dealership's loaner car.

Video surveillance cameras inside the dealership captured the Grand Vitara burst through a showroom window and smash into several vehicles on display. The car, which looked more like a motorized battering ram, repeatedly smashed the cars, a structural support pillar and miscellaneous showroom items. This destruction continued until the vehicle became wedged in an office at the back of the showroom. At that point security guards pulled the man from the vehicle and restrained him until police arrived on the scene.

The doctor faces a variety of criminal charges and is currently on house arrest.





One of the best parts to this story, is when the employee knocks on the raging doc's window...what do you think he is saying????  Maybe " How may I help you?  Are you looking to buy or lease?"


Here Comes the Ice Cream Truck

Police stopped the ice cream truck at Bayswater Court and Sheffield Circle in Waldorf, MD. They found the marijuana and cash in the driver's  underwear. (Hopefully, that wasn't the first place they looked.)

He apparently had been dealing from the truck for some time, according to the Charles County Sheriff’s Office.

"We wish we got that call just a bit sooner so we could have found more drugs, but what we did find was significant enough to show that he had been dealing it, and for us, we’re removing a drug dealer off the streets," Richardson said.

Hoskins was selling to teens and young adults through word of mouth, authorities said.

He was charged with possession with intent to distribute marijuana.

Hoskins is out on bond and out of business, authorities said. He won’t be selling ice cream again anytime soon.

So, my bloggee friends, have you had any dealings with "bad business" practices this week that caused you to drive through buildings or seek the services of daffy docs?

Less "Whatever" and More "WOW"

One of the inevitable downsides of getting older is the amount of "splash and pizazz" that it takes to illicit a WOW or a WOAH or some other expression of awe and wonder. Of course, the most current expression is the ever popular OMG having replaced, groovy, dynomite, righteous, super and a bucket load of other trendy expressions used to express our "jaw dropping" amazement.   The OMGing of the world has saved bloggers and texters hundreds upon hundreds of hours of typing digit-challenged alternatives, for sure.

As for the loss of the "sense of wonder and awe" due to ageing, that becomes more apparent as grandkids arrive.  Did I hear you say: OMG.... How can that be??? Surely, Cheryl P. isn't old enough to have grandchildren??? I can see where you would be confused...inexplicable, really....but back to topic..

As I watch the little G-boys find such delight in things like BUBBLES and dandelions, it brings up the point that it takes a lot more to impress and amaze me these days.  There was a time that seeing a dandelion going to seed would have been a site to behold.  Now that little sucker is more of an annoyance than anything.  It wouldn't even illicit a "whatever".

As an adult, it seems that the ante keeps going up on the levels that it takes to cause us to become speechless.  (well...for me personally, I am not sure that level has ever been reached... but hope springs eternal)




Thought #1....A Place that is worthy  of a lot of WOWs, AWESOMEs, and OMGs


Last week hubby and I made an unscheduled trip to the Chicago area as we learned of a family member's passing.  While there, we decided to go to the Museum of Science and Industry.  I am a real GEEK when it comes to museums and as museums go, this one is a really AWESOME one. 

Sidebar:  A little blurb about the museum, if you aren't familiar. 


The Museum of Science and Industry  is located in Chicago, Illinois, USA in Jackson Park, in the Hyde Park neighborhood adjacent to Lake Michigan. It is housed in the former Palace of Fine Arts from the 1893 World's Columbian Exposition.  It first opened in 1933 during the Century of Progress Exposition.  It is also the largest science museum in the western hemisphere.
Among its diverse and expansive exhibits, the Museum features a working coal mine, a German submarine (U-505) captured during World War II, a 3,500-square-foot model railroad, the first diesel-powered streamlined stainless-steel passenger train (Pioneer Zephyr), and the Apollo 8 spacecraft which flew the first humans to the Moon.


It had been years since I was last there and as with all things, there was a disconnect between how I remember it and how it is.   Some of this disconnect is that the museum has changed and updated but part of it is in the 30 or so years that have passed, what it takes to WOW me.

As a girl, I remember walking into the building and all but peeing down my leg,(yes, I was a strange little girl)  with the excitement of the planes hanging from cables from the ceiling.  Real planes...in a building...just hanging there...OMG!  As an adult, I find that still pretty neat but not to the level of peeing on myself...see, I have matured.

Thought #2...Worthy contenders for WOW.

The Museum of Science and Industry, Chicago, IL

A Boeing 727 hangs from the ceiling. There is a platform that allows you
to enter and walk through it.  The 727 was the mainstay of
air travel from 1963-1984 when it was retired from manufacture.
It held the record for most sales of a model until last year when the 737 surpassed
it.






The Coal Mine exhibit was one of my favorites as a kid.  It still has some of it's earlier appeal but there have been some changes there as well.  Years ago, (many, many years ago) they use to have everyone don a lighted miner's hat prior to descending into the shaft via a coal car.  Very cool effect of actually going down into the earth. Now, you are herded into the safety room first and told of the dangers of coal mines. 

We happened to have a young guide that took elaborate pains to tell us how awful the bituminous coal coming out of Illinois mines is.  Seems that the crappy coal that comes from the 8th largest coal producing state in America is so unhealthily that nearly all of it is shipped to other countries.  HUH???

Another exhibit worthy of a couple of, NO WAYs and few  Oh, SH**s, is the German Sub, U505,  that was captured in 1944 and is the only type IXC sub still in existence.

The story of it's capture and the part it played in World War II is fascinating especially for those that are history buffs. 

Another of my favorite exhibits as a little girl was the  Colleen Moore's Fairy Castle.  Colleen Moore was a silent film star in the 1920s who had a love of doll houses and miniatures.  She started building a her Fairy Castle in 1928 and by 1935 with the help of over 700 artists and an estimated cost of $500,000  created a doll house that was indeed worthy of a princess.  The details of the castle are amazing...running water, electricity, priceless works of art and jewels,...even the pans in the kitchen are forged copper.  AMAZING!!



And the last one, I am going to talk about for today, is the OmniMax theatre production of:

The Omnimax technology didn't even exist on my last trip to the museum.  In the Omnimax theater the projector, projects the film onto a 180 degree dome that is about 5 stories high.  This differs than the regular IMAX film that is projected onto a flat screen.  This dome effect has you feeling as if you are in the middle of the action.  For this film about tornadoes and storm chasers, it is effectively off the chart on the WOW meter.

The film was filmed in Kansas and Oklahoma

You remember that I live in Kansas, right????

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Let It B, Let It B

Friday is here again and this week there were some interesting Front page stories.  The pictures from the tornadoes that hit Texas were unbelievable.  Eighteen wheelers flying through the air...who can imagine that kind of wind force?  Amazing!

However, the "back page" news stories are not up to their usual numbers.  Why, I wonder?? Are people giving up stupid crime and outrageous behavior for Lent? Is the nicer weather keeping would-be felons otherwise occupied with their gardening or taking walks in the park?  Still there were a few stories that had a little merit and seemingly a lot of the stories had B words in them.  Yes, a very strange phenomenon this week that all the stories were heavy on B words.   Strange week, indeed!

Bank Robber is Told to Come Back

The FBI said an attempted bank robber in Chicago was foiled by a teller who told her the bank was closed and she should come back the following day. (Yes, it was a SHE bank robber, the glass ceiling has been broken in the bank thievery occupation)

The criminal complaint filed Tuesday in U.S. District Court said Olga Perdomo walked into the Albany Bank and Trust on West Lawrence Avenue around 5 p.m. on March 29 and handed a teller a note demanding "all of your money, no cops, no dye pack," the Chicago Tribune reported Wednesday.

However, after reading the note, the teller told the woman the bank was closed and told her to come back the next day.
"The female then left the bank," the complaint said.
The woman, who was seen by a surveillance camera, was spotted by a bank employee walking outside of the establishment with a man around 3:20 p.m. Monday.

Perdomo was arrested and police caught the man she was walking with after a short chase. The man was identified as Willie Weathersby, who officers recognized as a suspect in the robbery of $2,589 from the same bank March 23, the FBI said.

 No cops, no dye pack and no service if you have the audacity to come in right at closing time. Who knew foiling bank robbers was this easy.  I hope the teller stuck the little "this window is closed" sign to really prove her point. 

Girlfriend is Busted for Breaking Boyfriend's Balls

Christina Reber, was freed from jail yesterday after posting $10,000 bond in connection with her bust for the alleged attack last Friday at the Muncie house of her ex-beau.

Reber, the victim told cops, first struck him repeatedly in the head before latching onto his scrotum and "squeezing as hard as she could."

The victim recalled that Reber "refused to let go of his scrotum," but that he was "finally able to pry his scrotum from Reber’s hand" after they fell to the ground during the scuffle. The man then called an ambulance, which transported him to Ball Memorial Hospital. (REALLY? Ball Memorial???)

A cop reported that the man had blood on his shirt and "a long wide tear on his scrotum," which had been "completely torn loose from his body." (OUCH!)

Reber was charged with aggravated battery and illegally entering the victim’s home, both felonies. She was also charged with a misdemeanor domestic battery.

According to the news report, upon entering the victims house the ex-girlfriend was screaming "You had better call the f******  police."  I think that might have been great advice.


There's a Baby in the Bag

U.S. Virgin Islands police say a woman was allegedly driving with her newborn baby zipped up in her purse. (GASP...you have what?  Where?)

A police statement says an officer pulled over a woman driving a pickup during a routine traffic stop Tuesday. While asking for the St. Croix woman's license, the officer reported hearing a baby crying but did not see a baby seat in the vehicle.

The motorist then allegedly unzipped a purse sitting on the seat next to her and revealed a  newborn.
The woman said the baby had been born at home the prior week and she was taking it to the doctor's office for a checkup. 

Authorities rushed the newborn to a hospital. The mother may face criminal charges. Her name was not disclosed.

There really should be a test given to prospective parents.  Bizarre for sure. 


Off-duty Bunny Busted

Police in Ohio said a man arrested after finishing a shift as the Easter Bunny pleaded guilty to stealing $1,600 worth of DVDs from a store.

Lt. Dan Molnar with the Mentor Police Department said investigators were seeking Justin Medema of Painesville, on a felony theft charge for allegedly stealing more than $1,600 worth of DVDs from the Mentor Sam's Club store.

A tip was given to the police that the thief was the Easter Bunny at Heartland of Mentor Retirement Home.

Molnar said Medema was arrested at home after finishing his shift.
Medema, who pleaded guilty Monday, is due back in court the day after Easter.

Bad, bad, Bunny! Who can you trust if you can't trust the Easter Bunny?

The New Improved You

A very interesting blogger over at Older Eyes  has had a couple of posts in which the subject of self-help books were mentioned.   From reading Bud's blog, I can tell you he is not only a really good writer but a talented artist as well.

I used to be more of an "avid" reader but that has greatly decreased as my preponderance to sit my butt in front of a computer screen the better part of any given day has somewhat diminished the amount of actual "books" I read.  Don't get me wrong, I still buy a gazillion books with many of them being those that would be listed under the "self-help" genre. 

First of all, the category of "self-help" books needs to be divided into two distinctive categories.

The first category is the INSTRUCTIONAL books.  You know....books that are going to teach you something TANGIBLE.  A lot of these books look like this. I buy these books by the dozens.  I kid you not.  At any given time, I have 3 or 4 or more of them on my desk.  I devour these on all manner of topics.  These books are like popcorn that needs to be eaten. 

This by the way, leads me to two major conclusions about my life.

 A. I am a Dummy

 B. I am a Complete Idiot

It, also, by the way, has me questioning my total lack of ability on all manner of subjects, or really...why would I need to be constantly reading books telling me that I am both a dummy and an idiot.  I don't find this helpful.  Kinda counter intuative to the genre, SELF-HELP.
  

  



The second type of self-help book deals with "INTANGIBLE" instruction such as improving your attitude, alleviating your worries and generally working on your psyche. These are the type of self-help books that I was commenting on over at Older Eyes.  These are, also, the books, that I am suspicious of.

My tendency to not "buy into" the mass produced self-help book  of the intangible sort, became apparent a few years ago when the book Who Moved the Cheese came out.  It's not that I dont' think the book's parable with Sniff and Scurry and Hem and Haw wasn't clever enough but there was the niggling little thought that kept saying the people were over-reacting a bit.  I mean...REALLY...every corporation in America was having corporate seminars about little mice nibbling on cheese.

 At that time, I owned a corporate training company and one of the big communications firms, hired me for 8 weeks to develop seminars that ALL of their employees would be mandated to take on the subject of  "ACCEPTING CHANGE".  In their case, the seminars were a precursor to a giant layoff that was about to befall them.  I guess you can call losing your job a form of change, but even as great of trainer (**crickets**) as I am, it it hard to spin that as a positive. 

This "lack of enthusiasm" on my part,  continued when the company I worked for during the release of The Secret started having seminars where we were to work on our visualization of what we wanted in life.  Somehow it just didn't seem right that I was visualizing "not having to work there." Not to diminish thinking good thoughts,  I do believe in the power of positive thinking...I sense that some of you are surprised by this, and yes, I know that is not always evident.

As I am more than willing to try anything once, especially if thinking about it is easier than actually doing anything about it, I did in fact try thinking my way into being rich.  So far I have had minimal success.  According to the film, for those of you that haven't had the privilege, there is a guy that sits in his recliner and thinks great wonderful thoughts about getting a new car and low and behold he gets one.  As I recall the guy was unemployed at the time, which begs the question,  is he able to afford this car... but leave it to me to question the Law of Attraction.  It is a LAW after all.

So, to summarize:

I do think there are bits and pieces in self-help books that may be motivational BUT ( ya' saw that "but" coming, huh?) it is a bit of a challenge for an author to write a book in the genre of self-help unless he truly would have knowledge of the "self" that is reading it.

IN OTHER WORDS...I could (if I had any ability what-so-ever) write a book that would tell you that I can improve your happiness level by 100 percent by the end of business today.  That's right...I have the magic formula to  improve your self-esteem  by 100 percent.  Money Back guarantee!!!!

In my opinion (in most circles "my opinion" is rated  on par at the same level as dog poo) the major hurdle here with my upcoming book and those that are already mass marketed is....we aren't exactly sure of your level of [whatever the author is pushing].  As we/I don't know a damn thing about you, it is a little brazen of me to say I can improve, modify, enlighten any of your emotions.  Still, feel free to buy my book and I will give it a try. At least with my book the price is in direct proportion to the quality. Free...which is also, how I can offer the 100 percent money-back guarantee.

Sooooo....for the sake of trying to be a team player here, I am going to write a self-help post.  Well, actually, I am just going to give you a teaser of a self-help post.  For the rest of my wisdom, you will have to buy the book. 

So here goes...two things you can do to improve your self-esteem by 5:00.  You will look cooler and feel more self assured.
Number 1...Swimwear for winners.

For those of you that are ill at ease at the beach or pool...I am here to help.

For those of you out there that just are uncomfortable with modern swimwear, there is an alternative.   I know, I know, swimming suits can be  the single most crushing of the ego deflaters.   Clearly, even the most awesome bodies have a little jiggle here and there.

The solution...a wetsuit.  Why wear a revealing suit, when you can look super cool in a wetsuit?  Anyone that is questioning this fashion choice is quickly silenced with the ever useful line:

I AM IN TRAINING...this line is sure to impress and assuage any lingering doubts they might have.

Oh, you think wetsuits are too pricey...no problem.

Cheaper fix.... SPANX.  Say it with me, people...spandex is our friend!!!!  That's right.  I know you think that Spanx is under-garment shaping but hey...buy the black separates.  Together it will look like a wetsuit.  (Men, you can do this as well, just be careful not to get a top with a built in bra...well unless you need that) 

To further authenticate the look be sure to find you old YMCA swimming patch or wear a gold medal around your neck. 

Hey, are you in training????

You are now rockin' the beach!


Another tip that is sure to make you feel good about yourself.   Sunglasses!! Simple fix.  Everyone looks better in sunglasses. 

After reading a rather interesting article over at Newsvine, where someone going by the name of Werdoomed made the comment that people's attractiveness level drops between 10-70 percent when they take their sunglasses off. Frankly, I think Werdoomed is a genius. Truly, everyone looks way more attractive with sunglasses on. I do draw the line when people keep their shades on in dark rooms and at night as that is something else entirely. It's not about looking good as much as not looking like you are "under the influence" of something.

See, Joe COOL





Even non-cartoon dogs look cool in sunglasses

 



Little grandbabies look great in sunglasses




 Whoa!!! BACK THE TRUCK UP....I SAID SUNGLASSES!!!!

NOT MR. POTATO HEAD GLASSES......







Maybe the pacifier with the Mr. Potato Head glasses isn't
cool but it is very cute from a grandparent's point of
view.

 



OK, I am visualizing him in sunglasses.  See
I can visualize and he is still very cute.