"What If" Wanda

Were you one of the kids that grownups would whisper about  saying things like "that [fill in the blank],....certainly has an active imagination." If so, was it that you were showing early signs of being a pathological liar or was it that you surrounded yourself with imaginary friends? 

When I was a kid I had an (one only)  imaginary friend named Mary.  As I look back on it, I am pretty sure I didn't really think Mary was a real person but she certainly came in handy when I needed to change the focus of a conversation. 

Example:

Parent: " Cheryl did you pick up your room like I asked you to?"

Me: "No, but Mary was bothering me."

Parent to other Parent:  There is something seriously wrong with Cheryl.  Perhaps we need to take her to a doctor.


Seems that the messy room has taken a backseat to their "bigger" problem. See how imaginary friends can work to switch focus. Let's just look at it as  a coversational traffic cop.


Things have changed over the years and Mary has been out of my life for a very long time.  Although, lately I have been thinking of the advantages of having a new imaginary friend come for a visit.  Not to blame for the "things left undone".  Let's face it, no one.... real or imaginary, could handle that amount of blame.


Thought Number One....Bad Drivers Make Me Crazy

You might remember, the incident from an earlier post I did called  Do You Not See A Problem Here  that I wrote several months ago.  The thing that had me going ballistic  on that particular day was getting back to my car on a parking lot and finding I couldn't get in,  thanks to an idiot parker.

Since then,  I have had several other occasions to see the other unfortunate people that were unlucky enough to have "bad parker person" next to them. 

There was one over at the Super Target that was just so impressive (as bad parkers go), I JUST HAD to take a front and back shot.  It must take a special driver to get that close and not hit the neighboring car. One must wonder as well, how could they not feel any remorse for the fact the driver is not going to get into his vehicle anytime soon.

Usually, when I have the pleasure of seeing one of these crazies,  the offender is nowhere in sight.  However, last week that was not  case.   I was working on getting my younger grandchild strapped
into his car seat on the rear passenger side of my SUV when I notice

a much larger SUV hovering...lurking...irritating me as they hovered. It would seem that they were insistent in their desire to park next to me.

 Why would this irritate me?  Here's the deal.  There were HARDLY ANY OTHER  cars in the entire lot...yet "big SUV" needs to be right next to me.  So I hurried, got little guy strapped in and "this wicked person

parks 12 inches more or less from the passenger side of my car.






  As I sit in my car fummmmiiiinnnng, this wicked, wicked, woman (who I might add looked eerily similar to Mrs Wiggins on the old Carol Burnette Show) squeezed and contorted her ample body to get out of her Yukon.

Are you wondering why I just didn't back out and let her exit her vehicle with the ease and grace of a normal person.  Because, I could sit there and make her suffer, that's why. 

This is the part that makes me nuts....WHY DIDN'T I GET OUT OF THE CAR AND SCREAM  AT HER.  After the fact, I thought of all kinds of things to say to her. 

I should have taken pictures and told her I was going to distribute posters all over town warning people of her outrageous parking skills. Instead, I sat there making her fight for her exit.  She could have parked nearly anywhere in the lot and not have had me pummeling her with bad thoughts.




It takes a special person to park on top of you in a lot
that is WIDE OPEN.

Thought Number Two... I Am Crazy and I Now Have Another Imaginary Friend

 So what does this have to do with imaginary friends, your asking??? I have now resurrected an  imaginary friend for the sole purpose of dealing with irritating people around me. Meet "Take-It-Back" Wanda.  Wanda is my new Fairy Godmother of sorts.  However, she insists that I refer to her as my Fairy "Sista" as she is too young to be called someone's mother,  especially someone that is oldish, like me.  So Wanda is going to cruise around with me and when someone pisses me off with their total lack of driving skill she will hop out and either make them "undo" their wicked behavior (hence the whole "take-it-back" part or she will zap them with her fairy bat and give them some bad joo joo.  Nothing like a little bad karma to set the world right.






This isn't a picture of the actual cars involved as I have already admitted how I screwed up
and failed to get it on camera.  Still...this pic will give you the general
idea.



Oh, I guess, I should mention that Wanda isn't a typical fairy with a WAND.  She started out like that years ago, in fact, that is where her name Wanda came from...but it just wasn't making an impression on the people she was scolding, so she traded it in for a pretty pink bat with her name on it.

The only problems, I have with Wanda thus far is her incessant need for Redbull and her wanting to sign her name as WTF as a shorter version of Wanda, the Take-It-Back Fairy.

Come Join Top Sites Tuesday and be #1 on BlogDumps!
The purpose of this Meme is to encourage
Networking between bloggers and to have fun while doing it!
Make sure to visit all the other participants and leave comments