Love, Hate Relationship With the DMV

OK...I was just kidding about the "Love" part in the title. For the most part, it has been my experience that a visit to the Division of Motor Vehicle Office or whatever equivalent is in your state is at best a test of your patience and at worst a waste of your time. 

Having lived in a number of states, I have yet to stand in a line at the DMV and have someone turn to me and say "Don't you just love coming here? It is just so much fun.  Really...it's a shame, they only let us come once a year per vehicle.".

So why am I even bringing up this subject.  NO...it is not to get you all irritated and crabby for the day.  I was going to give you a reason to go down to your local DMV and bring them a box of candy and possibly hug one of the people that work there.  That is unless you are in Kansas.  Then just stay home.

They don't deserve either your candy or your hug. After I tell you about what is going on here, you, hopefully will have a new found appreciation for the quagmire that is going on down at your local DMV office.

Thought Number One...If this wasn't so frustrating a person could possibly find a nugget of humor in it.

In May the state rolled out an  "upgrade"  to their computer system  that handles the titling and registration of vehicles, with a $25 MILLION dollar software program from 3M.  After more than a year of delays in getting it in..and I might mention that even getting it installed was a whole other bizarre story...it turns out it isn't working "efficiently".  I was struggling to find a word that would describe how it is working, but  f***** nightmare seemed mean spirited...totally true...but mean spirited, none-the-less.


The crux of the problem is this new software is "fit" prone.  That is the word that the KC Star used in describing the chronic stalls, crashes and glitches associated with the new system.  But really, it is more than that.  The software does suck, but the implementation also, has been handled so badly, it is hard to know who is more at fault, 3M or the state agency that was supposed to make this work.

People are now waiting 5 hours or more to get their new tags, plates and vehicle titles. Well...that is when they aren't being turned away because the system is down.  After 3 months of the new system the  media has been describing the process as "moving at the rate of marshmallow cream" and another report referred to it as "bureaucratic purgatory."

So where is the funny part you are asking?? I have to find a little humor in a few of the snafus that one would think came out of a Seinfeld episode but in fact prove the old adage: Truth is stranger than fiction.

For example:   Because the computers are working so slow when they are working at all...the state thought it would send out notices to 41,000 people and give them the option to renew by mail.  The problem was that the return envelope for their payment had an incorrect barcode on it with a wrong zip code.  So their payments were either returned to sender or went "god knows where".

Another example isn't funny but more in the range of "you have to be kidding?"   In Wyandotte County the lines are so long this week that because of the heat, the county has set up tents outside for the over flow..with swamp coolers. (frankly I am shocked they could get swamp coolers in this part of the country.)  Still one person passed out just yesterday from heat exhaustion.  Nothing says efficiency like tents with swamp coolers.

In this morning's paper, there is a story about a woman, Jessica Blue, that was on her fourth trip to try to get a newly purchased vehicle titled.  Actually she bought it in April but can't seem to get the thing titled.  Yesterday she was turned away again.  She is already sporting a ticket for not having valid plates and has to pay a $119.00 fine and  she was quoted as being "extremely frustrated." 
(if a reporter was asking me how I was feeling in that same scenario, it would be unfit to print.)

Thought Number Two...The Blame Game

The state has issued a number of statements on why this upgrade was needed and they are sticking to their guns that it will get corrected.  A spokesman for the Dept. of Revenue said they are withholding the final payment for the system until 3M works out the bugs.  Now ...this is the laughable part...they have already paid 90% percent of the bill. They only owe the remaining 10 percent.   If they wanted to have some real clout they needed to stiff 3M on 50 or 60 percent of the bill.  They seemingly don't get how effective "withholding payment" works.

Donna Shelite, the state director of vehicles is quoted in today's paper as saying "We fully understand the frustration and inconvenience some customers in several counties have experienced"...then went on to say that "the new computer has disappointed." I might be wrong but something tells me, Donna doesn't REALLY get the level of frustration some customers are feeling.

3M, on the other hand, also, has a quote. "The infuriating lines are not the fault of the software from the company, but the result of the problems with implementation."  The spokesperson went on to say that any imperfections with the 3M product were merely technical issues. 

Really???  Technical issues?  You have to admit, that could of worked in a Seinfeld episode. 

So back to my original premise...you should go down to your DMV and brings some candy.







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