In Hot Water

Who got themselves into trouble this week? Lindsey Lohan is back in the headlines but, I guess that isn't really new. There have been a few missteps by politicians this week as well.  Again, that isn't necessarily news. So who should we talk about today?


It Was An Accident

 Hmmmm, lets start with the on-going trial in LA of  David Viens.  David claims to accidentally  killed his wife then cooked her body for four days in boiling water to get rid of the evidence. His wife went missing in late 2009 but it wasn't until 2011 that authorities put together what may of happened. 

David Viens has pleaded not guilty to murdering his wife Dawn.  His story is that after discovering some money missing from the restaurant he owns, Thyme Contemporary Cafe,  in Lomita, California, he suspected his wife.  He went home and according to him they had a fight.  He wrapped her up and placed duct tape over her mouth, after which he went to bed.  When he woke up 4 hours later, she was dead.  (oops...purely accidental) He was quoted as saying " “You know, she had issues with everybody ... She ended up, you know, becoming a mean drunk." (Really...he's saying she was the mean one?)

Being a chef and all....the logical thing to do was cook her, I guess.  He put her in a 55 gallon drum with boiling water.  Over the next four days he boiled down her remains putting some into the grease trap at work and some in the regular trash.  He claims the only part that was left was the skull which he put in his mother's attic. Unfortunately for the prosecution, a search of the house and the restaurant turned up nothing.

Upon hearing that he was a suspect in the case, David jumped off an 80 foot cliff. He is attending his trial in a wheelchair. (My, my, doesn't he sound like a guy that thinks things through)

Well, isn't this one for the books or at least a TV movie.   I would be very nervous if I had ordered the soup in late October in 2009 at his restaurant.



Talk the Talk

I feel remiss in not having reminded you about  September 19th being "International Talk Like a Pirate Day".  I was rather busy last Wednesday and let the big day get by me.

Just to catch you up on the history of  Talk Like a Pirate Day. It began in 1995 when two friends, Matt " Cap'n Slappy"  Summers and John "Ol' Chumbucket" Baur started bantering in "pirate talk" on a racquetball court. What began as a small group of friends participating in an excuse to party, quickly spread.

When David Barry wrote a column for the Miami Herald  in 2002 about it, the idea became widespread. Since then, thousands of cities around the world have made Sept. 19th "Talk Like a Pirate" Day".

BUT...every party has a pooper and that pooper seems to be Jo-Ann  Golden of Lake Worth, Florida.
The current mayor, Mayor Pam Triolo read a proclamation at the start of Tuesday's city commission meeting encouraging the town's residents in participating in the fun of the holiday. The Palm Beach Post reported in part on Thursday;

"The City of Lake Worth is known to possess a spirit of independence, high spirits and swashbuckling, all traits of a good pirate," the proclamation states. "It's fun to talk like a pirate by using words like Arrrrr, ye and bilge rat."

The proclamation was intended as a lighthearted recognition of the holiday as well as City Manager Michael Bornstein's well-known love of pirate lore.

Jo-Ann Golden, a former City Commissioner, isn't finding fun or humor in talking like a pirate.  She said in an email to the City Manager that pirates are known to murder, steal,  and hold victims for ransom. She feels that it isn't politically correct and encouraging pirate talk is dumbing-down America.
In a response to her email, City Manager Bornstein responded "I'm so sorry you find this fun, silly proclamation anything more than that.  I could easily become consumed with a sense of over correctness in almost everything involved with government.  However, I refuse to become devoid of all the wonderful human emotions including, most importantly, humor".

ARRRG, Way to go, Matey...arrggg, I mean Mr. City Manager. I think per chance that modern day pirates don't go around with parrots on their shoulders and talking pirate talk.


She Looks Like a Pirate

 A British woman who shouted, "I'm Jack Sparrow," at police officers while stealing a ferry was sentenced to 112 days in prison.

Alison Whelan, who the Torquay, England, court heard had been drunk for two days and taking hallucinogens when she and a friend took shelter on the Paignton Pleasure Cruises' Dart Princess ferry was found guilty of aggravated vehicle taking and sentenced Wednesday to 112 days in prison, the BBC reported Thursday.

Whelan called an ambulance to the ferry because she thought she was having a seizure but upon their arrival she started shouting "I'm Jack Sparrow and set off with the ferry.

The theft set off a chase lasting for more than an hour involving police, the coast guard and the local lifeboat service. The ferry sustained about $2,430 worth of damage from colliding with two other vessels during the chase.

Ashley Lane, operations manager for Paignton Pleasure Cruises, said the incident could have been far worse.

"The fact is that, had circumstances been different tide-wise, it could have been serious," Lane said. "She could have seriously been injured had it gone out of the river."

So now we know that 2 days of drinking and taking a hallucinogen can have the side effect of "turning one into a pirate".  This needs to be added to the warning label.