It's that time of year that most of my gender is eager to shop for their summer wardrobe. I seem to be one of
the few that is reluctant to get out and revamp my winter duds with lighter, brighter, funner (yes, I realize that isn't a real word) summer duds. I hate shopping in general but I especially hate "hunting for bargains". Oh, don't get me wrong. It's not the saving money part, I detest. I love saving money. It's the fact that the stores that seem to offer the deepest discounts, also offer the greatest measure of security. It's more like dealing with the TSA than a retailer. The big difference, of course, is the pat-down would be on the WAY OUT not the way in.
Thought Number One: As a Consumer, You're Not Making Me Feel Welcome
I understand the stores have to protect themselves from all the sticky-fingered shoplifter that walk off with millions of dollars worth of goods for the shear sport of it. It is hard to explain why people like Lindsay Lohan feels the need to snag merchandise on a regular basis. Unfortunately, that leaves the honest shoppers under heightened security as well.
The very worst, in my opinion, was Loehmanns. Back in the 1980's when there were 77 Loehmanns and I was way more more "game-on" to fight the fight for a bargain, I would occasionally make my way into their stores to secure an unbelievable bargain. Usually this required me to also, fight my way into their communal dressing room.Yes...COMMUNAL...one big room with a few mirrors and a throng of women throwing heaps of clothing around while in various stages of undress. Meanwhile there were store employees that looked very much like the lady in the title picture picture that glared at you to make sure you understood that they were keeping tabs on you. Seemingly, those that loved Loehmanns spun this as camaraderie. The perfect place to get honest opinions as to the age-old question. "Does this make my ass look big?" I always went with the attitude that perhaps a total stranger with her butt squished up to mine, is just wanting me to buy the "whatever had captured my eye" and get out of her way. I, for one, think that probably a number of women that shopped there, went on to have horrific body image issues.
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| Trying on swimsuits at Loehmann's never goes well. |
As for Loehmann's atmosphere of "we don't like our customers as much as we love their money," the problem, as far as I am concerned, took care of itself. There are no stores left in the middle of the country, thereby negating the possibility of me going in search of a deep-discount during a temporary lapse in my sanity. There are less than 12 in the U.S. I am not sure if they are anywhere else in the world as their corporate office is in Dubai.
While, I am picking on Loehmanns as being an extreme example of a company's quest to keep tabs on their goods walking out the door, there are still plenty of examples of stores security methods that leave one feeling like they should offer to take a polygraph on the way out.
I am OK with the metal detectors, and the detectors that scan for the infamous electronic tracker that has permanently poked a hole in your new garment...right up until the point the alarm sounds because the clerk missed removing one. I try to remain polite but internally, I am not happy. I am mildly comfortable with all the security cameras around the perimeter of the store. I am not a fan of the security cameras in the dressing rooms. Don't let any one tell you we are all made alike. We aren't and I know this because I have shopped at Loehmanns.
Another practice that leaves me cold is when the clerk takes my cash, marks it with a marker and proceeds to hold it up to the light. I always go with the assumption my money is good and I would like them to go with that assumption as well...or at least until they get me checked out.
Thought Number Two: By All Means...Stop Me
The reason, I even got on this subject was that yesterday at the gym, one of the woman had read an article in the local paper about a shoplifter being found that had walked out of the store with her Easter ham between her legs. The gym group was debating how one walks with a ham in such a precarious position. Evidently that person didn't have it down to a science as they did get caught. However, my husband worked in retail a number of years and has told TONS of stories of tricky thieves that have walked out with goods in the most astonishing places. Some get caught... but knowing that billions of dollars of goods are missing from retail stores each year should make me more sympathetic.
Or not...depending if an alarm is sounding because the anti-theft device was overlooked. OR the ham fell...just kidding!!!
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| There may or may not be a ham leaving the store right now. |
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44 comments:
I doubt that very many men would try on clothes in a communal dressing room.
I'm glad to say I've never been to Loehmann's. I'm also glad to say that I've never tried to walk with a ham between my legs.
xoRobyn
An Easter ham between her legs? There's a joke in there somewhere!
I was actually curious as to how men would react to the idea. I assume that Loehmann's men's fitting rooms were also communal as their motive was to have people making sure you were layering clothes or stuffing them in bags. Still all the Loehmann's that I ever went into were packed. Supposedly the bargains were enormous.
When I was looking up the info to find how many stores remained in the chain it looks like they have filed for bankruptcy. I have to believe it has failed in part for the over zealous approach to theft.
I think they weighs in your favor that you haven't tried walking with a ham between your legs. My husband has told me a number of things that people have tried to steal out of retail stores by that method. CRRRRAAAZZZZYYY
I am sure there are a number of ways to make jokes there but probably most of them are dir-tay. Not that I wouldn't laugh at them.
Communal dressing room? UGH! You might as well be peeing in front of someone else. And I was trying to come up with a clever joke about the ham between her legs...bringing home the bacon?
Thinking of the ham walking out if that woman was at Loehman's communal and dressed down to her nuthins....looking at her from the back would be....are you ready????
"A moon over my hammy".......oh groan.....but it did make you chuckle....a little...didnt it.
OMG..if there ever comes a time that there is communal bathrooms, I will surely die of renal failure. That fact of peeing in front of someone would keep me from ever...EVER committing a crime. I look at pictures of jail cells and cringe.
You realize, I would have to give up eating pork if I knew that's how it came home.
You are sick!!! Very often quite funny but sick!!!
There would be no hams leaving Loehmann's...as they didn't sell food but even if they did...those women that worked the dressing room watched close enough that they knew if a mole on your backside needed to be seen by a dermatologist.
Wow, I've never seen one of those communal dressing rooms...although I've seen many where the doors were so high off the ground that there's really not much of yourself you can hide in there. Anyway, I really don't like shopping for clothes either. In fact, I don't bother to try on clothes anymore. If I'm not sure it'll fit or if it looks like I can't fix it (if it doesn't fit), then I won't buy it. Simple as that. :)
Yes, some of the dressing rooms are hardly worth the bother of putting on those little saloon style doors. I still feel exposed.
That is so like me. I have to be pretty sure of something to buy it and even then, I check out the return policy. I would rather take it home and try it on then return it if it's not right. But still...I just don't enjoy shopping.
Ladies have you not heard of these urinals the other half use? Some of them are very open.
communal dressing room - I had never heard of that. There is an electronics "super" store (what does super mean anymore?) where you receive the most customer attention of your visit when you leave and they check your bag of items against your receipt. If the clerks on the floor paid even a fraction of that attention one might be able to find something to buy.
I wouldn't of made a manly-man. While most of the men I know don't seem to be overtly modest, I would be the guy that had to go places where there were stalls.
I agree...If there was the eagerness to help you find what your are hunting for as there is to make sure everything got paid for, their sales might actually go up. I, personally don't believe that the bulk of theft is walking out the front door as much as employee theft and things going out the back door. There was a Target store here that discover 5 trailers (as in semi-trailers) of stuff that a single employee pilfered out the back by placing it into dumpsters and coming back after it. She had been doing this for years. They couldn't figure out how much had already been sold.
Most men I know couldn't care less about other men seeing them. Just the way they are.
Communal dressing room? Surely you are jesting. Although it is a tad better than the communal showers after swimming, minus the bathing suits. They still exist at some swimming pools. Although , without going into specific details, I 'd like to say that my teen years experience of swimming pool public communal shower a was positive. I learned that every woman is different, but still womanly and lovely. It built good self imagine. Really. Of course, there were no 'models' there, as depicted in your photos. Cheryl, but of course there IS a ham going out that door, you are it, and you know it! As do we all. Ah, what a clever pun.
No jesting in this case. A couple of years ago Loehmanns offered a limited amount of private dressing rooms on a first come first serve basis but the lines were so long for the few available most women continued to use the communal room.
I had forgotten about the showers of our youth...which is really pretty interesting that I could put that out of my mind. I was very introverted and super self-conscious. I might not have progressed all that much in terms of being comfortable around other women that I don't know.
A ham might, indeed, be going out the door...but not between my thighs.
Whoa. Communal dressing room? Yeah, I would never try anything on and probably would never go there. The horror of getting the wrong size and not being able to squeeze my big butt in it is a personal experience I never want to share.
I've heard some really silly shop lifting stories, but the ham between the legs takes the cake!
Clicks!
--Trina
Never heard of communal dressing rooms that is just weird..............but as Wendy said it is better then the communal showers I just hope they never come up with communal toilets...........I have enough trouble with dreams about toilets that have no doors on them and me needing to go while out shoppping.........anyway lets move on to security tags and shop lifters it amazes me the things some people steal and how they try to steal said items like why do so many people steal cheese................security tags can be such a bloody pain I have had many times when I have bought something and the tag has been left on or I remember buying dvd's that were not unlocked and I didn't notice and had to go back to the store to have it unlocked and have them look at me like I was stealing.......
I generally hate shopping and have never been to Loehmann's. Once, I was in a communal dressing room. It was really strange. I think that, even if what I tried on fit, I didn't buy anything because the experience was so uncomfortable.
xoRobyn
I went to Loehmann's ONCE. That was it for me. I had enough of that shit in gym class. As to the ham, wouldn't your hoo-ha have gotten really cold? Of course if you were having a hot flash that just might be a plus...
I am absolutely convinced you and I could be great friends if we lived in the same community. Other than the fact you are younger, have enormous talent in a number of various trades and have a enviable work ethic...OK maybe...I could be your lazy old sidekick that you could pass off as a crazy aunt.
Yes, totally agree that I don't need an audience during the meltdown that ensues when I can't zip a pair of slacks. It's not a pretty thing to behold.
OMG, Jo-Anne, if there comes a time that the woman's bathrooms aren't designed with privacy in mind, I am prepared to get a colostomy and wear Depends. I am freakishly modest.
I didn't know that cheese was a high theft item but I can see why. Good cheeses are crazy expensive. I have a favorite cheese (Havarti Creamy) that used to be 3 or 4 dollars for a few ounces...now its nearly $8.00. I would have to look to see the oz. but it's smaller than a stick of butter.
That would make me CRAZY if I had to go back to have someone remove the lock on a DVD. You're right...you just know they think you might of stolen it.
Robyn, I am so relieved to hear you are familiar with communal dressing rooms. I have been in some other than Loehmanns but for the life of me, I don't remember which stores they were. I think there a some no-frills kinda places that are still like that.
I used to go to Loehmanns fairly often to buy tops because you could get the nice brands at discounts like 90 percent off. But I only went into that dressing room once or twice. I think Erma Bombeck book was right on about animal behavior. Pushy and rude come into play when woman are buying discounted clothes.
You made me laugh and that is doing something. Today we are having storms here and I am not loving it.
At last...someone that has actually had the Loehmanns experience!! I noticed when I looked up their web site to see how many were left, there is still at least one in Houston.
Wendy from Live Life in Crescendo mentioned that as well. This proves that traumatic experiences get buried in ones sub-conscientious...I hadn't thought of that but that was AWFUL.
You might be right about the Easter ham having a cooling effect for hot flashes but I think I would be more inclined to steal a small package of frozen peas...surely there is something in the refrigerated section that would be more portable in the hoo-ha region over a ham.
I think its because most guys have lived with communal locker rooms and showers since junior high that we are not as sensitive about being seen naked by other men. Or perhaps we were totally traumatized by the experience and are now numb. I find the smaller stored, where someone follows you around, the most annoying. My pet peeve with stores right now is the music. I realized that when I was 30, the stores all played elevator music. Now that I'm in my sixties, they play music the 30-sometings like that I can hardly stand. I think we are being picked on as a generation.
I think there is a difference between men's views on body image vs. women's views. We women can be a judgmental lot when it comes to other women. The unfortunate consequence to this is most of us womenfolk are insecure with our bodies. Valerie Harper wrote a book when she turned 60 and said "no matter how nice a woman's body is, when she looks in the mirror she sees the Pillsbury Dough Girl.
I agree with you how annoying that is in stores to be hawked by an employee. I hadn't really noticed the music but I am hyper-sensitive to the fact that all marketers are dismissing our generation. I find this maddening. We finally have money to spend and seemingly the "product pushers" don't care. I can't believe that all the 30-somethings have tons of expendable income as they are raising their families. But id ditto your "being picked on as a generation."
My thought on a communal dressing room is that I would turn around, put my items back on the rack and find somewhere else to shop. They aren't the only store in town, and most places have nice dressing rooms with doors that lock. Even the not-so-nice ones have curtains.
That would be the case for me as well today. Back in the early 1990's I was a little more open to want to find bargains. Now I want convenience and I don't want to be annoyed. As much as I dislike to shop it has to be made as pleasant as possible...and that means not fighting a crowd over indiscriminate racks of odd assortment clothing.
Cheryl, I went into a communal dressing room when I was about 14 yrs old and it scared the snot out of me. I still remember the dimpled white flesh drooping like Spanish moss from the underarms and bellies of old ladies. I wasn't ready for it. I left the store immediately and never looked at Aunt Bea the same way after that. Hahaha!
I shop in places that like that..I don't care what people, strangers, think of what I look like, I like saving the $.
I envy people that have your type of self confidence. I am painfully self-conscious and added to the fact I hate to shop...I tend to go to stores that are pretty much "take care of me" and get me out of here. Occasionally, I do go to stores like Marshalls or TJ Maxx but now those types of stores have fairly nice or at least private dressing rooms.
That would be a painful age to be exposed to the brawl that ensues in some women's stores esp. during a sale. I am surprised you aren't scarred for life. Love your descriptive words " drooping like Spanish moss"...oh my that is a visual. While I am sure even a fictitious aunt of yours would be lovely, there are some things that can not be unseen in areas prone to partially clad humans. Living in FL, I am sure you have seen some examples of "droopy" at beaches, pools and such.
I'd never heard of Loehmann's before but it sounds terrible. I think what amuses me most is the security guard (who has a huge black shirt that says "LOSS PREVENTION") who gives you the evil eye as soon as you walk in. Yet, he's either morbidly obese or 85 years old. I just think, you should be lucky that I pay for all of my stuff, because there's no chance in hell that you could ever catch me or even manage to tackle me if I decided I want to bolt for it.
Ain't that the truth!! If the chick with the ham between her legs hobbled past some of those LP guys, they wouldn't spot her.
Loehmanns was a big deal in the 80s before so many other "no frills" deep discount stores came into being. The problem with Loehmanns was while they had better brands than most they treated everyone like the sole purpose people were there was to steal them blind. The problem for me was I didn't want a Dolce and Gabbana top badly enough to fight someone for it. After having two bankruptcies over the last 20 years, I must not be the only one that felt unwelcome in their stores.
"I hate shopping in general but I especially hate "hunting for bargains".
Me too. I LOATH shopping. On so many levels!
OMG. I totally remember and HATED the Loehmanns dressing room. WTF! Where are the doors!?
I think it would be a mixed bag. Plenty of men don't mind "letting it all hang out." Plenty of men, especially those who are introverted or shy, are intensely modest. I think men who would mind would be even less likely to put up with a communal dressing room. Many men already hate shopping without having to put up with more crap.
I knew you would hate those stupid dressing rooms too. You and I always agree!! I thought the same thing, the first time I walked in thinking that I must be missing something. Did I take a wrong turn? Where are the cubicles with the curtains?? I don't remember what I tried on but I was really uncomfortable. I went back upon occasion but NEVER tried anything on. If it wasn't a for-sure thing, I passed on it.
I was curious how the guys would feel about it. Most of the guys in my life don't have a shred of modesty so their opinion is not representative of all men. I believe you are right though, there has to be guys that would be very uncomfortable in that situation.
Communal dressing rooms? Wow! I can't imagine the meeting where they came up with that idea. "Well, people have been complaining about waiting in line for the dressing room, let's say we take some warehouse space and make it a free for all?"
Occasionally I've set off the alarm while leaving a store for whatever reason. I always thought it would be funny to just take off running when the alarm goes off. But it probably wouldn't end well.
That meeting probably also included the discussion, they can't steal from us if they can't hide behind a door or curtain....we'll watch them like a hawk. You would of thought they might of reconvened the meeting after the first bankruptcy and said to the group...do you suppose that people aren't loving our group fitting sessions.
As far as the run like hell when the alarm goes off...the trick would be to make sure the loss prevention guy appears to be on oxygen and might not be able to outrun you. With my luck the person would be 89 with lung condition and still be able to catch me.
Oh yes. I would never try on clothes at Loehmanns ever!
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