The Art of Being Conflicted: The Birds are giving us the birds

I know you are all thinking that I typed that wrong with birds being plural but....no...I stand by the plurality of it all. This year is starting to feel like a modern day version of the horror movie "The Birds".

First of the odd "birdyness" of 2011 is when flocks of dead birds starting falling out of the sky in Arkansas, Louisiana, Kentucky, Tennessee, Sweden, Italy and New Zealand to name a few of the places that thousands of dead birds came raining down. Call me crazy, when it is raining birds, things are getting freaky.

Then, it came to my attention via a conversation with Texas Pal that a neighborhood very near where I used to live in Dallas, is being bombarded with egrets. To be totally accurate, I guess the bombardment part is bird sh**. Now I am not talking a couple wayward birds here. There are over 500 egrets nesting in one neighborhood. These people in Carrollton, TX are having to use umbrellas when they walk out their front doors. So in Carrollton, Texas, indeed, birds are not falling from the sky but bird poo definitely is.

So, you may be asking yourself, what the heck?...why is this conflicted

blogger sticking in her two cents. (Have you not figured out anything about me yet???...Of course I have something to say) I will tell you why.

I AM FEELING THEIR PAIN!!!!

I have been having an ongoing "altercation" with my feathered friends for several years now. It all started in the late 1990's when I was trying to enjoy my back yard.

Cute huh? Little family of geese taking a swim behind our house. See my bench. I would have been sitting their going "oooh and ahhh", except that I was taking this picture.

OK...I am still thinking they are pretty cute. Did you know that Canadian geese mate for life? This is a real family. Darling, just darling.

HMMMM...I am starting to get nervous. See my deck chair minus it's pad. There is a reason the pads were taking a little vacation into the garage.

Now, I am taking the pictures from inside the house with a zoom lense. Between the noise and bird doo, it is the safest place to be.

Holy buckets of bird crap...Don't go outside without a rain slicker on...oh and boots too.

The only thing better than geese in Nebraska is when they are hunkering down watching and I am sure ADMIRING the first snow of the season.

Of course, all of that is history as we moved out of Nebraska and on down the road to Texas. Actually, in Texas I managed a full six years without fighting with any feathered friends. Guess it was too hot for them down there. Just as well. For those of you that read of my flood and lawsuit with Mr. Perot, let's just say, I had my hands full. If you need to (or care to) that was in the Lawsuit Lottery: You Too Could Be a Winner post.

So, now in Kansas, I have a new problem with birds. I don't know if you can get an idea of the configuration but this is a second floor window at the top of my stairway. Basically it is the upper floor of an entry way. To be clear this window is about 20 foot up from the floor. Outside of that window is a tree.
And in that tree there is a nest. Sing it now...and in that nest there is a bird... and in that bird there is a pea sized brain that is INSANE.

Every year for 4 years that freakin' bird starts in early spring and slams into that window all day...every day...from early morning to late evening for weeks...no months. Why it isn't dead, I do not know. But all day.....

THUMP, THUMP, THUMP, THUMP, THUMP

I know all kinds of theories for preventing this. Decals, pictures placed in the window, yeh, I get it. Keep in mind this window is 20 ft. off the ground. However, there are wooden blinds with a remote control on order to, hopefully, keep this stupid bird from thinking this is a doorway.

I will be updating you at some point whether the blinds worked. Unless, that is, I am in an institution recovering from my breakdown. Thump..thump..thump..thump

The Good for the Day...Minimal bird poo by Mr. Robin

The Bad for the Day...He is not a quitter. Normally NOT being a quitter is a good thing. Exception to every rule.

The Weird for the Day....That I actually have to buy wooden blinds with a remote control, so I can operate these things 20 foot up in the air...why???? to keep a bird from smashing into my window.