Today's post is one of my random little ramblings. As most of you are sadly aware of my propensity to come up with some totally useless idea and spends hours wasting my time pondering the "what ifs" and "why nots" of it.
So the other day, I am having coffee with some friends and they get started at how annoying the "recalculating" phrase on their GPS is. This tells me two things. They drive in the wrong direction a lot of the time or they aren't having fun pretending the following scenarios exist.
For those of you that need help in thinking totally useless, mindless, nonsensical thoughts, here is a post dedicated to you.
I know a lot of you are probably using GPS systems to get you where you want to go but there seems to be a lot of individual preferences that go with these little gadgets. My hubby's GPS has a lot of voice options such as the choice between a female voice and a male voice. There are options of different accents such as a British accent, Australian accent or a Midwestern dialect. You can even download voices such as Homer Simpson, Mr. T, Burt Reynolds or Gary Busey. (I am at a total loss why someone would take the advice of Gary Busey even in the form of a GPS.) The problem with downloading new voices to your GPS, the rhetoric is still the same. The machine is still going to say "Recalculating" when you make a wrong turn.
I have a suggestion or two to keep things interesting.
BACKSEAT DRIVER OPTION
Now some of you may have gotten accustomed of having a family member tell us how and where to drive. If you are driving by yourself perhaps the "quiet" is throwing you off kilter. My idea would be to have the ability for your GPS to say things like"
In point 5 miles turn left at Main Street...but if I were you I would go up to Broadway. There is less traffic there. You are going kind of fast aren't you?"
Another feature of this voice would acknowledge when you approach intersections by saying:
"Are you gonna stop or what?" or "Gosh, you about put me through the windshield."
Instead of Recalculating this voice says:
"You never listen to a word I say"
Bonus feature: This one has the ability to "gasp" every once in awhile.
URBAN COOL
*Note: the voice on this one has a rapper kind of quality, so keep that in mind when you read it.
This voice would say things like:
Yo, dog, we'll be hangin left at the next corner.
When approaching intersections this one will say"
Come on bro, let's do it, go through it (bonus feature..on the little screen their will be hands doing the raise the roof motion)
Instead of recalculating
Come On, dude, really??? Or the female voice might say "Oh, no you dihn't"
MOTHER USING GUILT CARD
For your upcoming turn left it would say something like this:
If you really wanted to be nice you would turn left at the next light. After all I have done for you it is the least you could do for me.
Instead of recalculating it would say:
You're just intent on breaking my heart. I was in labor with you for 72 hours and this is the thanks I get.
PROFANE SCREAMER
If you are just used to being yelled at and abused and this is what you are comfortable with, perhaps this is the voice that would motivate you. (Clearly some of you respond to this or you wouldn't be with the jerk you are with)
For upcoming turns it would say something like this:
Listen you dumb a**, you need to get over in the right lane, now. Turn right, now...you are such an idiot.
If you make a wrong turn with this voice, instead of recalculating it says:
You are such a freakin' moron.
I will tell you that both hubby and I like having GPS in our cars and most of the time they are quite handy. I like the feature on mine that tells me what the current speed limit is and what I am actually driving. I always find the disparity
One in a while, I will say that my as-of-yet-to-be-named co-driver has let me down a time or two. Not long ago I was in a strip mall having just gone to the grocery store. I was on the hunt of a certain type of vitamin which the Price Chopper didn't carry so I went out to the car and asked yet-to-be-named where there might be a GNC. So she told me to leave the parking lot going west
Are you seeing what is happening here? Right, right, right, Turns out the GNC is just to the east of the Price Chopper. If I would have gone east out of the parking lot, I would have already been THERE.
Does this piano have a GPS on it?
The Good for the Day....all the gadgets that are fun and usually help us.
The Bad for the Day... When they don't
The Weird for the Day...Both hubby and I happen to buy Garmin GPS's. The Garmin International Headquarters is just down the street from where we live. I always find it amusing when I call in for some reason or another and they ask me what the weather is doing where I am. So much for small talk.
Do you use a GPS? If so do you find it annoying? or helpful? Do you use a GPS on your phone instead of your car?
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