Thought Number One
Hardly a day goes by without someone talking about the upcoming (speculative) Zombie Apocalypse. Really??? Didn't we have enough to worry about, like global warming, unemployment, the housing crisis, just general injustice and day-to-day mayhem? Now we have to worry about the undead coming after us to eat our body parts and most specifically our brains. Just when you think that crazy has bottomed out, you realize that there "is no bottom".
Now that the word "zombie" is the 3rd most searched word on Google, there is a wealth (???) of information out there. It would seem that there are a lot of differing points of view on the possibility of our future "undeadedness". (Who would of ever thought, I would be using that particular word in a post.)
The rash of violent crimes during the months of May and June, that involved eating body parts seems to be fueling the "believers". (I started to refresh your memory by posting the details of a few incidents, but by the time I got to the second one, I was loosing my desire to "catch you up to speed" at the same rate of speed that I was loosing my lunch. So just Google it and help the word "zombie" get the Number 2 spot. Go Zombie!)
Just as all good stories that are fueled by the media along with it's BFF, the Internet, all sorts of theories have emerged. One theory being there are airborne viruses released into the atmosphere by NATO that are causing people to become aggressive to the point of attacking other people. (Do I need to add the eating them as well...or is that implied?) There are the theorist that believe that the Toxoplasma gondii parasite is responsible. (Sure..let's blame it on the sweet little kitties of the world.)
Then Bangor, Maine had the Zombie Apocalypse Preparedness Drill. I would like to think that Bangor was looking for a creative way to have a fun theme party but,,, "Hey, you....Bangor... yes, I am talking to you...You aren't helping to keep the lids on crackpots."
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I am not exactly sure what one is to learn from this. Do you want
to be standing in a crowd if your body parts are on
someones menu?
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| It would appear that zombies take no responsibility for personal hygiene. |
Well, you can all rest easy as the Center for Disease Control, better known as the CDC has issued a statement.
CDC spokesman David Daigle said the agency “does not know of a virus or condition that would reanimate the dead (or one that would present zombie-like symptoms)”.
The CDC is denying the upcoming apocalypse, but if you are wanting some free posters go to their website and download away.
For those of you that want to check out the Zombie Preparedness info and get your free stuff off of the CDC's website, just click here. http://www.cdc.gov/phpr/zombies.htm I just love government agencies with a sense of humor...they are joking right???
Thought Number Two
Have I ever mentioned, how great I am in emergencies.
It's true. Little things like, when you (well..not YOU specifically..you in general) cut me off in traffic will have me losing my f&#*@*! mind. There is seriously going to be some four letter words flying and if words could hurt, you are in serious trouble.
But if you slam you're hand in a door and loose a finger, I am the girl you want standing next to you.
I have already proved myself on this one and I can tell you that, I am good. Whatever body part you lose, I promise I will retrieve it and get you to the ER lickety split. I have references.
AND as far as the zombie apocalypse goes, I not only will stay calm and retrieve any of your body parts that are dislodged...I am pretty confident in saying that no one wants my brain. No ONE. I will be "good to go" in the event of a zombie apocalypse.
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27 comments:
I once encountered a group of zombies hungry for human brains. They walked right past me. I was insulted!
You should be insulted. Who wouldn't want your Grade A premium brain? The only explaination is this was the rare breed of Vegan Zombies.
We already have a 'Vampire' movement, where young people are cutting each other and sucking the blood out of the wounds. All we need now is a bunch of would-be zombies running around. What is the fascination for all things vile?
I'm all for a bit of fun, but some people take these things far too seriously and that's scary.
Zombie Apocalypse? None spotted around here yet. ;) Everyone has their own brand of weirdness.
I agree..... as with so many things, things just get blown out of proportion. That whole vampire thing that was spawned from the Twilight books is a great example. What could have just been a fun fairy-tale-ish movie had people doing crazy stuff.
None spotted around here either. Kansas City is usually a few years behind in trends. So I guess, if there is an apocalypse, we will be the last to become undead. You be sure to come here and stay at my place where nothing ever happens.
In case of a zombie attack you can always chill with me. I lost my brain years ago...
I seriously doubt that but, I bet the pack will guard your place. No zombie would get to you.
"... no one wants my brain." I totally understand. *I* don't even want my brain, why would anyone else?!
And, um, *whistles*, yeah, only weirdos like zombies. *slides zombie shoes out of sight*
Ew!
Okay, I got that out of my system. You my lady are officially my body guard/body part retriever in the event that the zombie apocalypse comes to pass. Actually, it there were going to be one I think I would find a pleasant way to leave this planet rather than running from zombies. I have to admit, I've been watching the Walking Dead, and I consider myself somewhat of an expert. I know what zombies are capable of!
LOL!! Yeah...what's this world coming to when grown-ups contact the CDC with such foolishness. We're in a heap of trouble sister;)
Zombie shoes...too funny! What do zombie shoes look like? Were they made from leather from undead cows?
I am here for you Leah, if you see zombies coming I have a nice big house with extra rooms for you and any family members you want NOT to be undead.
What is the "Walking Dead"? Is that a TV series??? I am so out of it. If I see zombies heading my way you can be my mentor with all the dos and don'ts.
I did find that the free brochures and poster were really kind of a clever gimmick for emergency preparedness. Who would of thought that people would take it as a serious threat?
Zombie Apocalypse... wasn't that a movie or a video game? Yeah, I know it seems to be all the rave right now, but what so awesome about some drugged up people doing disgusting things? They probibaly watch Night of the Living Dead before they got their fix on... I'm not worried anyway, zombies would have to walk a long way across my field to get here or they'd have to learn to swim if I was on the boat.
The CDC is going for an interesting approach. It's perfectly commercial and gets your attention - I think everyone takes thier advertisements too lightly most of the time.
Congrats on the picking up of the body part. I stay calm (sort of) in emergencies - IF I have absolute control anyway - but if I get to be the person to freak out, I'm your gal. I think I'd have nightmares about picking up body parts... just sayin'
I think zombies have been made into all forms of entertainment ie movies, games and such. It seems just lately all the fantasy beings such as vampires, werewolves,and such have taken off in a big way.
If zombies have to travel thru water to get to you, you probably are safe. From the looks of all zombie movies, it doesn't appear that zombies would like water. They always look disgustingly dirty.
I have every confidence if any appendages drop off you would figure out a way to reattach them. You seem amazingly handy.
Zombie Apocalypse you say why have I not heard of this............should I be worried maybe I am not so shoot me............now I would like to know that zombies eat brains and if they do why can't we just feed them animal brains why does it have to be human brains...............and if they eat the brains of someone one drugs or someone who is drunk they end up high or drunk too.................ok maybe I am over thinking this........lol
Next thought you wouldn't want me around in an emergency since I kind of just fall apart like a zombie falls apart.............I am the person who can't remember the number for 000...............lol
http://jo-annemotherandnanna.blogspot.com.au/
You'd think my now, I'd be through being astonished at what people ... and the media ... get worked up over. It seems that the faster science advanced, the farther behind common sense falls. Then again, what would bloggers like you and I do without this stuff. It's like low hanging fruit for posts. Wait until December is closer and the Mayan calendar wackos come out.
I am laughing at your comment.... "what, indeed, would we write about without the idiocy of the world?" Still such a bittersweet tradeoff. We get funny things to write about as the our world gets more mucked up. I can barely wait for December.
I actually appreciate over-thinkers as I am one. While I can't seem to make it through the day anymore without hearing or reading something about the zombie apocalypse, I don't get how it is supposed to work exactly. As I am not losing sleep over being zombie-fied, I suspect if someone tries to eat my brains I will address the problem at that point.
I am glad you aren't my emergency contact. I can see it now...I will drawing my last breath while I am screaming Jo-Anne, the number is 911. hahahahaha
Ohh Spit....Zombie's and spillin viruses...damn I'm really worried bout these things...makes me want to go watch those Duck Hunters on trutv...
oh my gosh. I guess I am actually disappointed in the CDC for their message...
You might be on to something. Maybe to become better prepared for all the possible crap that could befall us, we should be watching more reality TV. Swamp People, Gator Boys, The Walking Dead, Some of these might hone our survivor skills. Of course, as lazy as I am, I think I might just be prepared to say Adios, cruel world.
Oddly enough...or maybe not...I am a bit conflicted on this. I get that the CDC was trying to tap into this craze and come up with a clever way to talk about preparedness but of course, don't they realize the depth (and width and height) of the stupidity of some people???? Honestly, don't they watch the news????
Part of me found the humor of it and the other part of me was dismayed that so many people really think the wackjob in Miami that ate the other guys face off wasn't a zombie. He was in fact a nut that was hopped up on bath salts.
Brain slugs tried to suck all of my brains out once and they left "none the wiser." I think I am safe from any and all zombie attacks. That being said, you are right, there are some real nut jobs out there actually pretending to be zombies and actually eating other people.
Oh, I bet they were wiser and funnier as well. Yes, it is just a craaaazzzzyyy world where any person...no matter how high they are...no matter what they ingested...can think that eating someone's face off is a good idea.
Everything old is new again. I remember the old black & white zombie movies of my youth. I liked them better. Everything is scarier in black & white. In color, it's just nauseous. Given the choice, I'd go with a vampire over a zombie. Better hygiene. And your caption to the photo above cracked me up.
Things come and go for sure. But don't you think that when you and I were younger that there was a certain innocence to those types of movies. We all knew it was make believe. Now people are getting all caught up in it and actually becoming delusional. There were 21 reported cases of people eating body parts in the last 2 months according to one article I read. Damn, what the hell is wrong with people?
What the hell is wrong with people? Good question. Mental illness seems to be rampant, while programs for help are the first to be cut, and those with such tendencies are much more easily influenced by these types of movies because they already can't discern reality.
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