I wonder if the people that appear in these stories are troubled by being the section of the newspaper (or Internet) that is the equivalent of being the "butt of the joke", OR do they buy extra copies and give them out to friends, while saying "Hey, I made it into the Friday edition of the newspaper" ???
Crushing Blow
First up...we have Roger Pion. Roger had a beef with the local Montpelier, VT police department after a recent arrest on the charges of resisting arrest, and marijuana possession.
As the Montpelier police worked in their building with the windows closed and air conditioners running, they didn't hear anything out of the ordinary. That was until a good neighbor called 911 to tell them that there was a tractor rolling over their vehicles. (Luckily for the department, a few vehicles were off on calls.)
Yeah, angry man on tractor (Pion) was crushing most of the department's vehicles. By the time they ran outside they had lost 5 marked cruisers, 1 unmarked cruiser and a transport van. Unfortunately, for them they just had to stand while they watched the tractor go down the road. None of their vehicles were road ready.
Montpelier police enlisted Newport police to catch up with Pion and arrest him. He is being held by the Vermont State Police.
Not only were the cars crushed, but the vehicle equipped radios and computer equipment within the cars was destroyed and they are unable to retrieve shotguns and rifles out of the trunks prior to having help from the Jaws of Life equipment. Estimated damage exceeds $300,000.00.
A couple of notable items appeared in the report. Some of the vehicles had just gotten washed. Is this the equivalent of "it will rain if you wash your car'. The article mentioned that the Montpelier police were unsure if Pion had secured a lawyer. Do you think they really care? I bet not. I wonder if Roger Pion's good friend "mary jane" was involved during the time he was thinking "why don't I just take my tractor down to the police station."
Book Lovers and Losers
Christopher Meusburger of St. Paul, MN, allegedly threatened his 62 year old neighbor with a sword on Monday night after she complained about how he had mistreated a book she had loaned him.
The woman saw the book laying on the floor in the hallway, outside of her door according to the criminal complaint filed on July 31st. She questioned Christopher as to why he had left the book on the floor. Evidently Christopher took offense.
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Christopher seems to be taking his arrest well. |
At this point, Christopher ran back into his apartment and came out with a sword. He supposedly, posed in a "fighting stance" and proceeded to swing the sword.
According to the complaintant, she feared for her life. She called the cops who arrested Meusburger.
While in custody, Christopher admitted that he had consumed 12 cans of beer but denied he had threatened his neighbor. When asked if he knew why he was in jail, he said "Yes, because, I am an idiot."
I think we can all agree with the "idiot" part, but I am questioning the woman's version of the story as well. I can't believe if she got chest bumped by the drunk neighbor she calmly said "Please, don't push me" or something equally calm and polite.
Speaking of Books
Terry Davis of Prospect, KY is accused of stealing a textbook from the Barnes and Noble college bookstore near the University of Louisville's Health Sciences Center according to WDRB-TV.
Davis then went to Gray's College Bookstore to try to sell the book. However, by the time he reached the second book store, the book had been reported stolen and the fast thinking employees alerted authorities.
The arrest report said surveillance video cameras captured both the theft and the attempt to sell the book, according to Louisville Courier-Journal.
He may not have the strongest grasp of morals but he sure can provide a strong example of irony. The book he stole was Resolving Ethical Issues.