Organizing the Crazy

Perhaps, I should blame the confusion on my part as being a result of inattentiveness...or preoccupation..but it seems that there is some element of  "what the what" with this week's stories.
Crabby Pants believes that a little organiztion is required over here at TAOBC.  Call my a cynic but I doubt her organization skills will make these stories any more credible.  Let's just say, I don't want to upset Crabby Pants any more than necessary.

She is here to explain her new organizational tool for sorting out our Friday post.  The news stories are now divided into three distinct categories...well..at least as far as Crabby Pants is concerned.  I am not entirely convinced that these three categories will cover all the stupid and weird news we find.  Still she has labeled three file folders with little tabs.

First File:  Hell YES!

I sense a bad attitude here

Last Friday I talked about Shena Hardin, the Cleveland woman that drove on the sidewalk every morning to avoid stopping for the school bus.  She was sentenced to stand on the corner holding a sign. 

I am a bit conflicted how this story should be filed.  We (me and my crabby alter-ego, Crabby Pants) are super happy that the idiot...her words not mine.. got a ticket for her rock star move of driving on the sidewalk rather than stopping for the school bus BUT we are tempted to throw it in the "Hell No" file because she doesn't appear terribly remorseful.



Second File: Hell NO!


A Cincinnati judge must have been disappointed with the response she received when trying to work our a deal with Damaine Mitchell. Mitchell was in court Wednesday charged with trafficking marijuana.

Judge Melba Marsh stressed that she was willing to work with Mitchell by offering him a treatment program in lieu of going to jail.  She, offered that his record would be expunged as well, if he completed the program and gave up smoking pot.

Mitchell responded, "That's going to be hard for me to do, to be honest with you. I like smoking weed.  (well...you have to admire his honesty)  After further discussion with the judge about the requirements of his quitting, Mitchell made an unusual request...if she would allow him time to smoke one a joint before being returned to jail.

Judge Marsh, said that she had never been asked for marijuana in her court before.  She hasn't determined how she will handle his case.  Mitchell is due back in court on Monday.

Asking the judge...while she is considering your fate...for weed, might not be be a tactical maneuver. While it may not aide Mitchell as far as his sentencing goes,  it probably provided the judge with a fun story about her work day. 


Third File: What the Hell Were They Thinking

A Bangkok man was admitted to hospital after injecting his penis with unlicensed olive oil (olive oil needs a license in Thailand ???) The purpose of the injections were to enlarge his penis but as a result he had developed an infection causing his testicles to swell to the size of grapefruits.

To be fair, the article did point out that there was some that doubted the infection was caused by the injections. But olive oil penis injections have been problematic in other men. In 1995 a death was blamed on the procedure. (What? This is a trend or something?)

Notice that I didn't get carried away with pictures on this one.  Count on me to be super classy with my stories.  Seems there is a great debate on the procedure of shooting up olive oil...well at least into your penis.  Here's a thought...don't.