Monday, December 3, 2012

Do They NOT Know Me?



Thought Number One: The Other Season that is less HO HO HO and more BANG BANG BANG


It has come to my attention for the umpteenth time that my family members, have not been paying attention to anything I have ever said or done. Why would I think this, you ask? I happened to call my brother a few days ago and he was super excited about the fact that deer hunting season had started. Well...to be perfectly accurate, hunting with a bow has started. The "hunting with a gun" season is yet to start. Poor baby, has another 12 days to wait before he can use bullets. Anyway...as I was saying....I called to see if I could stop by and drop off a  "no particular reason other than you are my only sibling" present for him but NOOOOO....DID I FAIL TO MENTION...IT'S BOW HUNTING/KILLING SEASON????

  It's not exactly (although pretty darn close) that I am anti-hunting. It's more that I am anti-hearing-about-hunting. If anyone had noticed...I am the same person that scoops up spiders and takes them outside. Didn't you all read Charlotte's Web? (NOTE: If they are horribly big with black-widow markings, I make exceptions to my "no kill" policy). For the most part though, I try not to kill living things. Oh, I hear all you hunters out there starting to ramble about over-population, and good forestry practices. Let's all lament about how those hungry deer are eating up the trees and need to be curtailed.  Shush! Just Shush! All of that may be true but when you decide to go after them...please...please...DON'T GIVE ME ANY OF THE DETAILS.

I have my fingers in my ears!!!! Lalalalalalalalla  Lalalalalalalalal





As far as my brother goes, I understand hunting is one of  his "things".  Everyone has a thing.  I actually thought he might get over the love of shooting arrows at defenseless deer because of  last year's hunting incident.  Yes, the incident.  Last year,  he fell out of a deer stand and broke both his feet.  Yeh, both feet.... you would think that would dampen one's enthusiasm a tad.....surgeries....casts...not being able to walk...not being able to drive a car....BUT...no, it appears that nothing dampens the desire to hunt.

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(ANOTHER NOTE:  To all of my readers that know my brother...do not...I repeat...DO NOT...feel the need to tell him that I called him a dumba**.  I didn't. I merely pointed out that he broke both feet.)


Then...if that wasn't enough, my dear (no pun intended) bro went on to tell me that he bagged a doe.
Are you flipping kidding me?  He told me he killed a girl deer..perhaps someone's  mommy-deer.

AND THINGS KEEP GETTING WORSE...

We went out to dinner about an hour after the horror of finding out my brother murdered a mother deer and we go to a place that has this on the wall.



The only thing better than a dead deer watching me eat is a dead deer with a festive holiday hat on.

Before you all assume that I am totally above killing a living thing, I have been known to kill a vegetable or two.

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While I am incapable of putting meat on the table...I must confess...I am a serial killer of vegetables.


Thought Number Two: Another Deer Story

The other night, I was whining over dinner with two of our best friends about my "less than enthusiastic" stance on deer hunting, when he mentioned the video about the deer crossing.  I am sure most of you have heard this but, still...it's pretty funny to think that someone out there doesn't understand what the deer crossing sign means.







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