Calculating The Risks

It's been a very busy news week with a lot of important discussions flooding the Internet.  Crucial issues such as  Beyonce lip syncing her song at the Inauguration festivities and the public acceptance of Michelle Obama's bangs.  The news crews must be exhausted from the extensive coverage of these and other topics.

Call 911...My Butt is Stuck

A woman in Oxfordshire, England had to call the Oxfordshire Fire and Rescue to come over to extract  her after she got wedged into her little boy's highchair.

Poor Serena Curtis and her friend, Jade Dickerson, were enjoying a little time to themselves while their kids were being watch elsewhere.  After drinking a couple of bottles of wine, Serena for reasons unknown, got into her little boy's highchair. The problem was that she could not get out.  She was wedged in tightly. After more than an hour and numerous tries, the women had to call for help.

Smoke break

 The only thing more embarrassing than being drunk, having your fanny stuck in a highchair and  having to call the fire department is having your good buddy make a video of it for future laughs.










He Said WHAT???

Gareth Morgan is stirring up a bit of a ruckus in New Zealand with his website, Cats To Go. Morgan is campaigning for everyone in NZ to get rid of their domesticated cats. With New Zealand having the highest cat population of any country in the world, it could be said that this campaign isn't as popular as one might think. 

Morgan called on his countrymen Tuesday to  rid themselves of their cats in order to save the nation's unique bird species. On his web site he posts the opening line "The little ball of fluff you own is a natural born killer."

While he says he isn't necessarily recommending that people euthanize their current cats, he  does point to the idea as an "option".

I realize for all of the "not-cat-people" this might not be the worst idea you have heard but for those of us that are cat-people, Gareth isn't winning us over as friends.


Billing Errors

I know we all have had the experience of getting a bill that we feel is unjustified.  A Minnesota woman might have the unfortunate experience of have the WORST case of unfair billing that ever has been reported.

The unnamed woman hired Thomas Lowe, an attorney in Eagan, MN, to represent her during her divorce. After about a month the woman and her attorney started an extramarital affair.  Lowe, however, billed the woman for all the time spent during their trysts calling it "meetings".  (Not exactly a lie)

Lowe admitted to the allegations and has lost his license to practice law for at least 15 months.

Sooooo...the next time you get an over charge on a bill...you shouldn't say you got screwed....well...unless you did.


 Speaking of Tools

A man in Anchorage, Alaska, is facing Federal felony charges for robbing a bank.  Alan Bronson Rice walked into KeyBank and pulled a hammer out of a small backpack.  Rice proceeded to demand the teller Houa Vue give him all the $100s and $50s or he would hit her with the hammer.  Vue gave him $1039 and the hammer wielding burglar left the bank.

He was arrested several blocks away sitting on a bench.  Both the money and a tracking device were found in his possession. 

The present shortage of guns in the retail stores seems to be impacting the quality of bank robbers.



Another Tool

A British college professor has been convicted of damaging luxury cars with graffiti.

Stephen Graham was found guilty Friday of using a screwdriver to scratch words such as very silly, really wrong and arbitrary into the paintwork of vehicles including a Mercedes, an Audi, and a Volvo.

The damages are estimated at around $29,000 dollars U.S.

Graham's lawyer said his client has no memory of the vandalism. Graham is blaming his bad behavior on a bad reaction to alcohol and prescription drugs.

He will be sentenced next month.

Hey, Professor!!! Just a heads up...that "bad reaction"  you are referring to is called being DRUNK.