Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Name Shame




Thought Number One:  Should There Be Any Limits on What Parents Name a Child?


For the last decade or so a number of rather unique, if not down-right crazy, baby names have appeared on birth certificates all over the world.   That is especially true in the United States where there are no rules concerning what you name your child.  AND ...that, my readers, has led to some very creative parents hanging some very unfortunate names on their offspring.  What others might deem imaginative, the general populace may think of as weird.  Take for  example the names Lemonjello, Loser, or Hashtag.


Just last November, little baby girl Hashtag Jameson was born to parents that really love Twitter.  They probably Tweeted about the arrival of little Hashtag but they most assuredly updated their status on Facebook.  That is... the real Facebook.  Not the Facebook that is a little boy in Egypt.  When people hit the "Like" on Facebook,  let's hope that they were hitting the little blue button and not hitting the  little girl in Israel named Like.


The most unusual names of 2012 have been released and there are some very creative names that made the list last year,  ALTHOUGH.... after reading this year's list, I personally don't see any names that would break the 'oddness factor" of Jason Lee's son,  Pilot Inspektor or Penn Jillette's daughter, Moxie Crimefighter.

Maybe an odd name...Hashtag but such
a pretty baby.
Not including  Hashtag's unfortunate name, some of the others are just mildly weird such as  Blue Ivy,  Hippo, Excel, Goodluck, Couture, Espn, Inny, J'Adore, Four, Jazzy, Leeloo, Jury, Tron, Google, Drifter, Sanity, Neon, Jedi or Thunder don't really seem all that bad?   Do they??

If you are interested in comparing the 2012 list to some of the previous celebrity kid's names you can here and here.

The reason, I even bring this up...is that several times over the last few weeks I see that people from other countries are challenging their governments to allow them to be more creative with their children's names.  There are  a number of countries that have rules that forbid non-traditional names.

 Denmark: 

Denmark has very strict Law on Personal Names.  Parents  can choose from 7,000 available names.  Parents can request special permission for unusual names but very often they are denied.  In Denmark, the names have to be gender specific and last names can not be used as first names.
The names Anus, Pluto and Monkey have all been denied.  (The Anus kid got lucky his parents are NOT  in the U.S.)

New Zealand

The New Zealand Birth, Deaths, and Marriage Registration Act of 1995 doesn't allow people to name their children anything that might cause offense to a reasonable person....is unreasonably long or without reasonable justification.  Some of the names that have been rejected are Fish and Chips, Twisty Poi, Keenan Got Lucky, Sex Fruit, Satan and Yeah Detroit.


 Sweden.

A Swedish couple has been fined for failing to register a legally approved name for their seven-year-old child, who is presently called "Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116" (pronounced "/ˈalˌbin/"). They've offered to change the kid's name to "A," but the Swedish government says that won't do, either.
 Because the parents (Elizabeth Hallin and an unidentified father) failed to register a name by the boy's fifth birthday, a district court in Halmstad, southern Sweden, fined the parents 5,000 kronor (US $682 at the time). Responding to the fine, the parents submitted the 43-character name in May 1996, claiming that it was "a pregnant, expressionistic development that we see as an artistic creation." The parents suggested the name be understood in the spirit of 'pataphysics. The court rejected the name and upheld the fine.


How Crabby talked a Swedish cop into trying to extradite  Cheryl P. to Sweden is puzzling.  As we are from the U.S.  we can name a kid nearly anything our creative minds can think of.



Thought Number Two:  How Did I Get By With Naming Crabby Pants.


Unfortunately, Crabby Pants got wind of the concept of unusual names aren't necessarily allowed everywhere and is trying to have me extradited to Sweden. The big problem, though, is I am American. They can't  touch me....oh and there is the fact Crabby Pants is one of my alter egos.

Cheryl P.  Crabby Pants, you are just the part of me that acts childishly, and is perpetually  crabby.  You should thank me for having a vivid imagination or you wouldn't even exist.  You do understand you and I are one in the same.  We even have the same initials.  C.P.

Crabby Pants...What?  I am not a young girl??  Exactly HOW OLD are we talking, here?

Cheryl P.  Whoa!.... let me stop you right there, my snotty little friend.  Be careful about using the word OLD.  Technically you and I are the same age and we don't consider ourselves all THAT old. 

Crabby Pants...So why did you give Sweet P. such a cute name?

Cheryl P.  Because Sweet Pea is our alter that is sweet and kind.  She has all the southern charm that we were taught growing up in the South.  

Crabby Pants:  Sweet, huh??? No wonder she doesn't come around much. Where is Witchy Cheryl these days?  She is much more to my liking.

Cheryl P.  She is always close at hand, my crabby friend. 

Three Faces of Eve...Eve was an amateur.  We have dozens...yes...dozens of alter-egos.





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