Could You Forgive?

I must be crazy to try to start a post about "forgiveness".  Why?  Because it is a terribly complicated topic with all sorts of words that are attached to it in some manner. Words like grudges, resentments, apologies, capitulations, retribution, revenge, acceptance and the the one word that often is attached much in the same way a conjoined twin is attached...the word FORGET. Is it reasonable to think that if you forgive someone for something that you would also be expected to entirely forget the event as well?

It's evidently a big issue for a lot of people.  If a person was inclined to need a book on the subject,  there are 8,226 books on Amazon under the search of forgiveness.

Lately everywhere I turn.... I see, hear, or read about the topic of forgiveness.Take for example the multiple times we are seeing on the news for various people that our asking for our collective forgiveness.  Anthony Weiner wants the people of New York to forgive and forget his inappropriate behavior and elect him to the office of mayor. Perhaps, he will gain everyone's forgiveness. Other politicians and celebrities have done far worse (well...maybe worse but Weiner might get the prize for being crass) and gotten a pass.




But..... are all the declarations  of "I'm sorry" sincere? Are many.... if any of them heartfelt?  How many "I'm sorrys"  are said to smooth over a misstep but said in the same vein as "oops".

 Is Pete Rose, for example,  sincerely sorry when he is selling signed baseballs for $399.00 (Never fear some sites have than for $169.00.) So if you are in the mind to forgive and forget, you can shell out out a couple hundred bucks and help relieve Pete's sense of guilt.
 

Here in Kansas City, the Sunday paper had a 3 page story about a hit and run accident that was the result of a young man dying in the median of a street after an 18 year old,  hit him hard enough to dent his car's hood and break out the windshield. The teen took a week to contact the police.While this  happened 5 years ago the article deals in large part with the victim's mom not being able to forgive the teenage driver, the driver's lawyer mom who tried to cover the accident up, and  the judge that allowed the driver to serve only 120  days in jail. (it's a very long article but an interesting judicial case...click here) Her grief is not allowing her to forgive, certainly not forget and she is seeking retribution, as well.

Thought Number One:  Are You Capable of Forgiving and Forgetting?

I am always amazed when I hear of a victim of a serious crime or a family member of a victim, that has the capacity of forgiving the perpetrator.   There are thousands of families that have  found it within their reach to forgive the person or persons that harmed or killed their loved ones.  I have had very few, what I would call major wrongs so I can't be absolutely sure how I would handle something such as a murder or violent crime,  but can be fairly certain that I wouldn't forget them.   No...I don't tend to forget much and I certainly wouldn't forget a major  wrong done to me or my loved ones.

As for the forgetting about it part...not likely would I forget some major wrong doing.  I have a pretty good memory. Even in the case of lesser wrongs...I have put things to rest, come to terms, moved on, gotten over it, put on my big girl panties... BUT I didn't forget about it.  I may have  put it to the side,  so it doesn't take a center stage in my life...but I did NOT forget.


Thought Number Two:  It's the Little Things That I Can't Let Go Of.


Which brings me to the things that I should ignore.  The things that are inconsequential and I should shrug off....

BUT NO... these are the things that make me crazy. The things that need to be put to rest and set aside but in the short term...well they make me nuts.

Take for example:  Last week, I was driving back from the
Walmart.  As you might imagine, being at the Walmart brings out my absolute highest level of sweetness (yah, get that is sarcasm, right?)   Anyway...I am leaving the Walmart and sitting at a traffic light waiting to make a left turn  at an intersection.  I am behind a SUV that has stopped for a red. Then the light turns green with a GREEN ARROW.....  Green...green...Cars on the opposite side of the street have made their turns and still we sit.....Still green...not getting any greener....

Hey, YOU IN the car in front of me...The LIGHT IS GREEN!

So I tap my horn to wake up the female driver.  I wasn't laying on the horn or anything....really....it was one quick tap....one lonely little BEEP.... to wake her up or get her off her emails or whatever was keeping her from turning on the  green arrow.


And this is what she did!!!!

Now to make matters worse.She took the time to open the sunroof so she could give me the finger AND THEN  she waited until the green arrow went yellow and sped through the intersection....leaving me to wait for the next light.  That, unfortunately wasn't the end of the story.  She got stopped at the next red light and I am still right behind her. Now I have the indignity of having to be behind the car that has the B***** that flipped me off  ...a second time.  This time when the light turned green she took off like a rocket.

This is the kind of stuff that makes me crazy. Yes..sorry to say there is another alter ego that comes out from time to time.  Crazy Pants.  She doesn't come out often. In fact, Crabby Pants is frightened of her so I try to keep them away from each other.

Yes, Crazy Pants isn't known for forgiving and forgetting. She is known for wanting to settle the score.

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