What Lesson Did You Learn?

I call foul!!! These government scandals  are  hogging the news programs.  All week there has been a drought of funny "can you believe they did that?" kind of news.  Seriously,  didn't we all  know that despite their campaign telling us they were the new and friendlier IRS that they aren't really all that friendly. AND as far as the government monitoring all the Verizon phone records...you already knew that our privacy isn't private.  

Crabby Pants was trying to create a scandal...well perhaps more that she wanted to participate in a scandal but she fell short.

News in baseball this week...20 players suspected of using performance enhancement drugs.

 He Seemed to Be Honest

A Cincinnati mayoral candidate promised to hand out free marijuana plants to promote his platform of legalizing cannabis, but handed out tomato plants instead.

Jim Berns, a Libertarian, said his stunt at a busy intersection Wednesday was meant to draw attention to his efforts to "re-legalize" marijuana," Cincinnati.com  Politics Extra Blog reported Thursday.

"I wanted to bring attention to the fact that marijuana should be re-legalized in Ohio and in Cincinnati. You can see by the turnout that people want that," Berns said. "I'm just disappointed I didn't bring more plants."

Berns was joined by about 30 sign-waving supporters, many of whom took home tomato plants.

Berns announced his plan to hand out "free marijuana plants" in a news release prior to the event

Lesson Learned: Politicians LIE!  OK...maybe not every single one but a guy saying he's giving out free weed is most assuredly lying.  If he can't carry through with a promise before the election...what is one to think of his carry-through after the election.  

 Time Waits for No Man

A woman has been charged with prostitution in Connecticut after calling police to complain about how she was being treated by a pimp. She reported that he was being verbally abusive to her.  (really? he was talking smack to his hooker?  I would expect better behavior from a pimp.)

Police say they did not find the pimp when they arrived at a Super 8 Motel in West

Haven on Sunday, but they did find 35-year-old Jennifer Lowery with a man they describe as a customer.

Police charged Lowery with prostitution and 60-year-old Richard Burford of New Haven with patronizing a prostitute.

Police say Lowery told them she thought it would take police longer to show up, so she decided to conduct some business while waiting.

Lesson Learned:  Check out the average response time for your police department if you are in doubt about "is there time for one more customer?"    Or Maybe....don't be a hooker.

A-Door-Able

An employee at the Hypoluxo business whipped out her iPhone, called 911 and started filming as a man began performing a sexual act on the business' door on Monday.

It began when a employee, who was not identified in the report told police she saw Anthony Bruce Berry of Lake Worth, walk to the back of the business on the 7200 block of South Federal Highway around 2 PM, according to Lantana Police Department arrest report.

Not long after, Berry came back to the front door, reaching for the handle only to find it locked.  But as the employee later told the police, Berry proceeded to perform a sexual act on the door. (Seems that Berry really loved the door.)

Of course, the employee stood there filming the door porn.

This isn't the first time Berry has had trouble with the law.  At least 32 previous arrests were found dating back to 1979, including two previous indecent exposure charges, according to the Florida department of Law Enforcement records.  It is unclear if any previous charges of door rape exist. 

Lesson Learned...Banging a door is rude and sometimes illegal.  

Art Critics

An Arizona artist said county officials have ordered him to cover up or remove a metal statue of a gargoyle he created that features male genitalia.

David Smith said he spent years creating the 9-foot-tall metal statue that his displays in his Paulden, AZ yard. He disagrees with the Yavapai County Development Services Director, Steve Mauk's statements saying his artwork is not compatible with the neighborhood, KTVK-TV reported Thursday.

"What in this neighborhood fits in anywhere? You look around and everybody's individual and you can't swing a dead cat without hitting artwork." Smith said.

He went on to say that the gargoyle's genitals are a necessary part of its creation.

"I built it a certain way and I like it like that," Smith said. "Everything has a sex so why would I do it any other way? I don't
like Ken dolls or GI Joes. I think they are kind of silly."

Lesson Learned: Anatomically correct gargoyles are frowned upon and swinging dead cats to find art is rude.