Tattoos In the News

Ahhh...here it is Friday, and in place of an odd news roundup this week, I am just doing a short little post about tattoos. Unfortunately,  I am pressed for time this week.  It may or may not be that I am on my way to get inked with a message that is so profound that I feel the need to have it permanently displayed on my body. 

AND YES this was a BBBIIIGGG week in the world of tattoo enthusiasts. Huffington Post posted an article on Wednesday titled " Head-To-Toe Body Tattoos Make Clothing Optional. (click here to read the article in it's entirety)  

I am sure we can all agree that it is a major  inconvenience to have to put clothes on everyday.  In fact, it could be that there is no one out there even reading blogs today as you are all down at the local tattoo parlor deciding on your  own pictorial legacy.  However, I remain hopeful that some of you remain at your computer so TAOBC  can offer you some  inspiration to cover your body in art so that you, too, might enjoy the freedom that goes with not having to clothe yourself. 

Matt Gone, better known as the Checkered Man, has 98% of his body covered in tattoos. What originally started as getting a few tattoos to cover up some muscular anomalies caused by Poland Syndrome grew into a full blown tattoo addiction. "I would like to marry a heavily tattooed woman who works a real job," he said in an interview with Big Tattoo Planet.

I think maybe Matt has Gone too far.  What if checks go out of style? 


But...wait...if Matt isn't your tattoo inspiration...what about Isabel Varley?  Isobel Varley is a British woman who  has 93% of her body covered in tattoos, giving her the Guinness world record for the most tattooed senior citizen at 75 years old.

See.... even age isn't a deterrent for turning your body into a giant canvas?  Feel free to send me a thank you for planting that image in your brain.


And who doesn't aspire to look like Maria?  Maria Jose Cristerna, a 35-year-old former attorney from Guadalajara, Mexico, is better

known as the "Mexican Vampire Woman" thanks to her full-body tattoos and titanium horns implanted in her skull.

Cisterna was immortalized in a full body cast form thanks to Ripley's Believe It Or Not. "It's my vampire dream to be immortal!" she told HuffPost Weird News through a translator.

Poor, delusional Maria.  It's one thing to aspire to be a Vampire but the odds of her being immortal are about as likely as the odds of her tats aging well.  BTW, is being a Vampire a better gig than being a lawyer?

Not all the tattoo news this week was quite as "over the top" as those that no longer require clothing (although, let's request that they do).

Right here in Kansas, we are hearing about how our own Miss Kansas is going to compete in the Miss America contest.

As an active member of the military, Miss Kansas, Theresa Vail, that is.... Army National Guard Sgt. Vail - may just have a slightly different take on world peace than the typical Miss America pageant contestant.

 Ms. Vail is an expert marksman who apparently knows her way around an M-16. She raced motorcycles as a teen until she broke her fingers. She is fluent in Chinese (she has a 3.8 GPA at Kansas State University) and likes to skydive and bow-hunt for deer. She's working on a hunting series in production for the Outdoor Channel. (She will be the host.)

Also, Vail, 22, competing this week in the 2014 Miss America Pageant, is the first contestant ever to sport visible tattoos. Sure, other contestants have had tattoos - tiny, hidden ones, according to pageant officials.

But Vail's big bold tat, of the Serenity Prayer, flanks her entire right midriff. She also sports the insignia of the Army Dental Corps on her left shoulder. The university senior aspires to be an Army dentist.

So there it was, the big tattoo, when she competed Tuesday night in the swimsuit portion of the three-night preliminary competition. She didn't win, wearing a bright-red bikini and the tattoo, done in scrolly vintage lettering.

But she apparently scored one for the atypical beauty queen crowd.

click to enlarge

Oh and just to let you know...Rabat is the capital of Morocco.I didn't make up a town in my effort to put a classy tattoo on my little Crabby Pants' body.

Crabby is now officially prepared for the next pageant that comes her way.